Dear Ella

Dearest Ella Portabella,

Today you are 6 months old. Kind of a huge milestone, in my humble opinion. My, my- how time does fly. I mean, just another stretch of 6 months, and you will be a whole year old. Yikes! But for now, my sweet girl, I want to tell you a few tidbits about you, and how much Mommy loves you.

I still can't believe you're a girl. It took almost these last 6 months for me to get over the shock value of opening up your diaper each time and saying, "Wow! Girl parts! That's right, I have a baby girl!" I knew that you would change my life in a completely different way-- I knew it because everyone said so. But my sweet girl, you really have. You melt me into a puddle of butter every time you stare at me with those big brown eyes, just happy & eager to see what your crazy Mama is going to do next. You really think I'm somethin', and that is such a wonderful feeling. I think you & I are kind of like two kids who have just fallen in love, and are walking on cloud 9-- you & I can do no wrong in each other's eyes. Something in my gut screams true happiness when you flash me your gummy grin and I get to see your sweet little dimple (I can't believe you have a dimple!) Also, the whole sucking-your-thumb and/or toes thing is so wonderful and helpful and precious and comforting. You constantly look for that right thumb, and then swing the rest of your fingers over your nose, especially when you are tired or upset.

Seeing those chubby little thighs & buns is perhaps the happiest part of my day, so lately I try to just strip you down a bit when you're on the floor playing to get my fill. (Sorry that Ben takes full advantage of these moments to "spank your buns".....but you don't seem to mind....). I love how much you love our special nursing time, and how you let me know you want the boob simply by burying your face into my neck. It's not so subtle, but pretty funny, and you definitely get your point across. I'm amazed at all you've learned & accomplished in 6 short months. You even have a sense of humor already! You are a sensitive little creature, and although you love a good party, you get easily overwhelmed by too many new faces and strange noises. That's okay, you will learn to love chaos, as it's nearly impossible to avoid with this family.

Sometimes when I'm really super tired and you wake up to breastfeed in the middle of the night, I go get you from your room, and we cuddle up and I feed you, and we fall asleep together, and I wake up hours later to the sound of your little baby snore, and it makes me smile in my drowsy state. And here's a little secret: Even though I act unhappy and complain when you wake up in the middle of the night to have a breast milk snack, I don't really mind. After all, it's the only quiet alone time you & I get these days, living with those two crazy guys we refer to as "Daddy" and "Big Brother". I love that your body is in the 99th percentile for your age, but your feet are not. Maybe you will avoid the big foot gene that your Mama and great-grandmother's carry. I love that every morning I spend far too much time trying to decide which adorable outfit to put you in, and then sometimes later in the day change you into something else just because. I love that Ben ever so affectionately refers to you as baby sis or sissy. I love that you have given our family such a sweet breath of fresh air. You were conceived in so much love, and I'm certain that somehow that same love is part of what makes you such a good, happy, healthy, loving baby. Oh Ell Bell, I know that this honeymoon phase won't last forever, but for now, I feel nothing but gratitude to have you.

Ella, you are so lovely. You have made my life so crazy and wonderful, and I think you are nothing short of a blessing from heaven. Mama loves you. Goodnight, little one.