Current Events

When I was in junior high, I distinctly remember my best friend at the time posing one of life's most thought-provoking questions:
"Okay, if you HAD to choose-- like if your life depended upon choosing-- would you pick Charlie Sheen or his brother, Emilio Estevez?" (Note: when you're about 13, to "pick" a guy basically means: who would you fall in love with, marry, and then buy a house and have lots of babies with).

There was a long pause as I carefully considered my choices. There was much to weigh; both teen heart throbs, both entertaining actors, both quite rich. Heck, I'm not sure there was a "wrong" choice. But something about Charlie- the cool name, the darker hair, the rebellious image- it all screamed my name.

And so, much to the shock of my junior high best friend, I had to follow my heart and go with Charlie.

Fast forward twenty years to the Charlie Sheen of today, and the unpleasant train wreck that inevitably follows him and his "tiger blood". I think you know where I'm going with this.

So Melissa, if you're out there, I'd like to take this opportunity and officially change my Estevez brother selection. And I don't want to push the envelope here, but I'll go ahead and say: 2011 is going to be all about Emilio Estevez. Shame on you, Charlie. The 13 year old in me is raining on the inside.

Mother of the Year

Image via WikipediaAs a matter of fact, YES.
I am breaking into my son's Valentine's Day candy generously gifted to him weeks ago by his tiny preschool friends, all while he sleeps peacefully (and without clue) just down the hall. It's all in an effort to keep my resolution this year of eating 1) more kale (speaking of, try these and season it like crazy and have a party in your mouth) and 2) more chocolate. Because who wants to be on their death bed one day, regretting their under-consumption of chocolate? There are dozens of other things I'll be too busy regretting, so I refuse to let a lack of chocolate be one of them. So obviously in this instance, the ends totally justify the means. My son needs a strong, determined Mama who sticks to her resolutions, right?

Anyway, as I was picking through the precious heap of Valentine's, I noticed that his friends gifted mostly name-brand chocolate this year. Nice touch, kids. This has not gone unnoticed in this house. Buddy, you are such a great judge of character. Clearly, friends like yours who gift name-brand chocolate are friends you should hang on to forever. Because when it comes to chocolate, one should really go big or go home. Who has time to mess around with Hershey's when there are dozens of Dove chocolate hearts screaming your name?

And this has been another motherly pearl of wisdom I pass down to you, my darling son.

Destination: Mini Break

In less than 12 hours, Dan & I will be well on our way to a somewhat impromptu weekend away, sans children. That's right, we're hitting the road and headed for the darling winery-ville town of Paso Robles. Or, as I like to call it, "Romantic Mini-Break Extravaganza, 2011". This is a weekend that will be all about us, with no purpose other than to reconnect, enjoy using uninterrupted, complete sentences, and to have absolutely zero clean up responsibilities. The last time this happened was well before we even had children, so needless to say it's long overdue. The main focus, FOR ONCE!, will be each other. And wine tasting. And eating really great food that I have neither slaved over nor have to clean up after. 


When you get this sort of weekend trip once every 6 years or so, it's difficult to know how to plan accordingly. I mean, there are so many directions we could take! Do we just sit in the hotel all day, basking in our alone time, and order trays and trays of room service? Do we plan for the optimum amount of fun by allotting every minute we're away to something fabulous?  Do we just go with the flow? A combination of all the above? I have a feeling that the various Paso Robles wineries will be a fabulous starting point, and from there, we'll just fly by the seat of our pants. You know, sort of like the way we did things when it was just us two.


I'm sure there will be moments of temporary gloom when I'll think about the kids back at home with my (wonderful!) parents, and wonder what they're up to. This weekend, there will be no children calling out in the middle of the night, or awake and hungry at 6:30 AM. On a Saturday.


OH, THE SLEEPING IN THAT WILL BE DONE. This much I know.

The File Cabinet

The other night, Dan & I had an unusual evening of productivity, especially for a weekday. Usually during the week, if we've eaten dinner together followed by putting leftovers in the fridge, we high-five each other and call it a day. Throw in designated "bath nights" for the kids, and now we're really taking the world by storm.

But the piles of paperwork lying around this place were beginning to make me feel claustrophobic, especially considering the combination of master bedroom and office we have in our sleeping quarters. We cleared off the desk. We filed things. We created a "to be burned during our family's first official summer bonfire" pile. Then we attacked the file cabinet.

Oh, the things you discover when you spend an hour filing things away with your husband....

The first thing I learned was that he likes to keep everything. When I came across blank, unused checks from a checking account we closed YEARS AGO, I realized that I probably need to step in a take a more active role as "co-filer" in this marriage. Done.

The second thing I learned was that the contents of his "personal" file folders are quite different from mine. His contain old high school transcripts, test scores, and college acceptance letters. My folders include fertility charting, decorating ideas, haircut styles, and paperwork from a job I left 5 years ago. Apparently Dan loved the letter "A" because his report cards were completely full of them. Across the board. Sometimes I wonder if he & I would have even been friends in high school, because while he was busy propelling himself to the top of his class academically, I was busy being a varsity cheerleader, snagging the coveted "Most Spirited!" award my senior year.

What can I say, I really loved having a good time, ALL THE TIME in high school. In cheerleading, this love for fun gets translated into the word "spirit". As in, I have spirit. Yes, I do. I've got spirit. How 'bout you?

I guess you can say that I am living proof that in the end, the nerd really does end up with the cheerleader. And I love that handsome nerd with all of my heart. (Perfect little plot for an 80s movie, right?)

There Is Hope

Since the number one objective of this blog is to relay the everyday happenings of our little family, I can't not write about what we've indirectly been through and witnessed this past week. To write about anything else right now feels completely impertinent.

My sister-in-law's sister & her husband lost their beautiful 5 year old daughter, completely unexpectedly, a week ago Sunday. Most of you are quite familiar with the story by now, but for those of you who aren't, I believe this has been the most tragic loss our little community of friends & loved ones has ever experienced. It has literally rocked me to my core, made me slow down, hug my children more often, and rethink the things I've labeled as "hardships" in my life. How silly I can be, allowing something like a messy house to bring stress and discord to my home. How shallow I feel for occasionally allowing traffic to bring out the worst in me. It's beyond powerful when the life & death of a precious child can literally make you rethink your priorities in this world. Sweet Stella, if you only knew how much you've already impacted so many people!

Every day this week, I've woken up with a renewed state of mind: it is an honor that I get to spend today loving my children, my husband, and those I come in contact with. How blessed are those of us who have health, family, and love today....

My sister-in-law shared her own thoughts on this tremendous loss. I found it to be consoling and hope-giving, in a virtually devastating situation. In the midst of all of this, the power of love is truly irrefutable. You can read her beautiful tribute here.

Um, Hello?....Is This Thing On?

How can I break this down in its easiest, simplest form?

To be succinct, I'll say this:
Nicole + full time Mama job + full time wife/household engineer duties + new part time high-stress job + holiday madness = a sad little blog that has been neglected for two months, 1 week & 4 days.

I did it! I broke it down, and it only took one sentence! See, I've been dreading this blog posting for quite some time. Especially when I consider those of you who have remained so faithful to me, sometimes emailing me or asking me in person, "Uh, what the hell happened to your blogging?"  If you were one of those people, did you sense my nervous laughter and my stressed-induced tic? Or the stammering for the words to explain? It's hard to REALLY explain where I've been, and why blogging went out the window, except to say- a high stress lifestyle, such as the one I've been introduced to the last two months, apparently sucks the life out of every creative brain cell I own. There were many days I'd sit down in front of the computer, ready to write after a long day, and all that I could muster was something along the lines of "my feet hurt and sure do sweat a lot when I'm working".

So, I thought I'd spare you.

But as my glamorous part-time job as a seasonal sales associate at Williams-Sonoma seems to be slowly waning (as expected), suddenly there's room in my brain for other things. Like people, showering, exercising, weekend football. Lately, I've noticed there is a creative itch that has (re)surfaced. And I'm here to get scratching.

After all, Ben has his first loose tooth (WHO GETS A LOOSE TOOTH AT 4.5?), and Ella is flirting with the idea of potty training. And there was a recent incident in which Dan ended up explaining to Ben how babies are made without me there to control the conversation.

So, yeah. We've got some things to talk about, sweet blog of mine.

Baby steps to getting back on the saddle again.

If I May...

I rarely make recommendations when it comes to other blogs (not intentional, I just forget to do it), but my darling friend Christina recommended this recently, and I'm so glad that she did. Read Nella's birth story and be prepared to (most likely) cry and (absolutely) fall in love with this mother's precious story. I don't know what moved me more- the heart-wrenching story or the stunning photographs. It all touched my heart and took my breath away. I promise- it's a story worthy of your time.

Thursday

Today is a tough one.

Ella was up from 2 a.m. til 4 a.m. with a gnarly case of the throw-ups. Though she seems better this morning, it's not completely out of her system (let's just say I'm VERY grateful we buy diapers in bulk at Costco).

The dishes are piled up and out of control. This might not seem like a big deal, but it's like I can SEE all of the old food turning to stone on my beautiful plates, right before my very eyes.

Ben doesn't have school today (thank you, Veterans!) and is going nuts with the lack of socialization and stimulation around here. Mama is consequently going nuts-ier.

Ella is (understandably) grumpy & exhausted and wants to be held every 5 minutes. Which is hard when you're trying to stay on top of throw-up (etc.) laundry from early morning hour.

I have somehow managed to injure my knee. It's swollen and puffy and feels like someone injected it with Jello.

Somehow I suddenly turned OLD.

In the 2 minute window I was granted to sort through vomit laundry, I found the world's largest potato bug in our washing machine. Let's not even try to figure out how in tarnations this landed in my house, let alone my beautiful washing machine. Let's just sit for a moment and soak in its monstrosity. Please note the furry hair pricklies and claw like toes. Holy creep fest, Batman.

I screamed and shivered so hard I almost threw up. Also....I mistakenly thought it was a large piece of lint or paper, so I actually PICKED IT UP. Like, in my hand. A giant, dead, wet, limp potato bug. Is it possible for things to get worse around here?

Dan is supposed to be gone all weekend on a retreat. Leaving me alone to tend to The Littles. One of which may or may not still be barfing. Who knows; by then, we might ALL be barfing.

My morning coffee is untouched; cold and depressed. Not even 30 seconds in the microwave can fix this.

We're still a whole day away from Friday.

The almond-scented raspberry cake with cream cheese frosting that Auntie Favi made for birthday girl Ella is now officially gone.

I see no reason to leave the comfort & warmth of my pajamas today.

How, in heaven's name, do single mothers DO IT?

What this day needs is a Starbucks double tall Eggnog Latte. First person on my doorstep with this drink wins unconditional love forever. And a dead mammoth-sized potato bug.

Reason # 276,345 Why I Love Being Married

Me: You know what I haven't done in a long time?
Him: Um.....kegels?
Me: Wow. I was actually referring to Ben's asthma inhaler, but thanks for the reminder.

Our Favorite Soup

We had a wonderful wet, stormy weekend- the kind that I live for and dream about all year long! I know many people get inspiration from warm, sunny days, but I am a girl who draws upon the power of Cozy. A rainy grey day that calls for wool socks, hot cocoa and lazy afternoon lounging is pure magic in my world. On days like these, I know no other way to warm and fill our tummies than to make a large pot of soup to feast on all week. Partner it up with some homemade bread, and I feel like I've given my family the biggest hug they could ever wish for.

A very close family friend of ours passed away about 8 years ago after battling cancer. Her name was Kathy, and if you don't know her directly- trust me, you know someone who probably does. She was the most loving, generous, outspoken, hilarious, good-hearted woman I knew, and she was an inspiration to me in more ways than I can even count. And good heavens, the woman could cook. She loved to feed people, and people loved to be fed by her. Hers was the house that everyone wanted to come to for parties and social gatherings. She was an Italian genius in the kitchen- she left behind an incredible legacy, and lucky for us, one of the best recipes for soup I've ever had. 

While I was enjoying the rain yesterday afternoon, I had a surprising wave of grief come over me, as grief often does, suddenly deeply missing Kathy. Couple this with not a clue for what to make for dinner, and suddenly the inspiration came together. I would make her soup and make some bread and cook my way through my temporary moment of grief. As we were eating dinner last night, not only did my family fall in love with the soup (Ben had 4 bowls), but I was able to explain where I got the recipe, and tell my children a little bit about who Kathy was. I can't help but think she was smiling down on us- heavenly tears of joy filling her eyes, seeing my little family around the table, eating her soup and cherishing her memory. There are no words to express the imprint she's left on our hearts.

Thank you, Kathy, for this soup. And for everything.

Photo courtesy of Nicco Zuffanelli

Kathy Z's Sausage & Vegetable Soup

*NOTE: Being the crazy Italian woman that she was, Kathy cooked "loosely"; meaning, every single ingredient listed is an approximation. You can add or take away any ingredient to tailor it to your specific taste. That's the beauty of this recipe. My personal notes are included in parenthesis.

Ingredients:

-1 zucchini, sliced

-1/2 lb. green beans, halved lengthwise (I used about 3/4 lb because we love green beans)

-1/2 lg. onion, chopped

-1 can crushed tomatoes (I thought this meant a smaller, 14 oz. sized can, but when I went to the store, the only can of crushed tomatoes that were available were the larger 28 oz. size. It's definitely a stronger tomato base & flavor, but it was to die for.)

-6 c. chicken stock (I ended up adding at least a cup of water to thin out the crushed tomatoes a bit. Again, this is all to taste! Typically I use the low-sodium stock so I can control how much salt we're having; however the store was sold out of low-sodium so I used the regular stock. According to my husband, this  actually MADE the soup....go figure....)

-Big handful of mini cheese ravioli (Trader Joe's carries these, but I didn't have time to go out that way. Instead, we used a small soup pasta, called "Stelline ". They are these cute little star shapes and they were excellent in this soup! I used 1/2 box, or 1/2 lb.)

-5 cloves garlic, minced

-1 lb. Italian sausage- sweet or spicy

-*I also added 2 carrots and 2 celery sticks for additional flavor, both chopped

-Salt & pepper to taste

In dutch oven or large soup pot, saute sausage until beginning to brown over medium high heat. Add onion, garlic (and in my soup, this is also when I added the carrots & celery), until vegetables soften. Add all other ingredients EXCEPT for the pasta. Bring to a boil, and turn down to a simmer to cook the rest of the vegetables until al dente (approximately 10-15 minutes). While the soup is simmering, boil pasta (ravioli or other) according to package directions. Add the cooked pasta to the soup just before serving. Season to taste. Serve soup with hearty serving of parmesan sprinkled on top. It also tastes wonderful with a shot of olive oil on top. Enjoy!

Rainy Nights

Image via WikipediaOn a chilly rainy day, some people like to warm themselves in an ambiance of coziness by building a fire. But my husband (read: fire builder) is away, and I'm here to tell you: in a pinch- a large glass of hot sake does the trick exquisitely. Cheers!

Ode to the Night Owl

A few weeks ago, Dan woke up to the sound of our dog Truman, barking from his dog cave (which by day doubles as our laundry room) at the god-awful hour of 1:30 a.m. Since we live somewhat in the stick-ville countryside, we tend to get all sorts of wild creatures in our neighborhood at night. Often times it's nothing more than an obnoxious kitty who's trying to throw a late night party in our yard, intentionally driving our dog bonkers. And therefore ruining our circadian rhythm. This is why I hate cats. Also because I'm allergic to them and they make my eyes red & itchy. And because they have the most presumptuous egos, rubbing up and down on my leg, assuming that surely I'm just DYING to pet the darn thing. Gross. Apologies to all my feline-loving pals, but I can't do the whole cat hair thing. They make my knees wobbly and my tummy nervous.

Anyway, this particular evening (and by evening, I mean very early morning) Dan opened the door and let Truman run out into the backyard and do his watchdog "thing" and thoroughly investigate any unauthorized activity that had taken place moments before.

That's when Dan walked back into the bedroom a few minutes later and said, "Um, babe? I'm pretty sure Truman just got sprayed by a skunk."

To which I growled, "What do you mean you're PRETTY SURE? Did he or--- OH DEAR LORD IN HEAVEN! THE SMELL! THE EYE WATERING STENCH! GET OUT OF THE BEDROOM! IT'S ON YOU! MY NOSTRILS HAVE BEEN SINGED! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DOOOOO?"

So yes. Truman had indeed gotten sprayed by a skunk.


Being new to the dog-skunking world, we were completely clueless as to what to do. Sure, we could Google step-by-step directions, but how does one sort through millions of people's opinions when time is OF THE ESSENCE? Also, firing up the computer sounded like a lot of work, and I was right in the middle of some serious REM sleep that may or may not have involved John Mayer dreams.... maybe if I just close my eyes, this will all disappear.....


Oh, wait. It's really difficult to fall back asleep when there's that annoying SKUNK SMELL PERMEATING THE HOUSE. (I'd like to take a quick detour here and pose the question: do skunks do anything that contributes to our society/earth in a positive way? Seriously. Is their only job to spray other animals and ruin perfectly wonderful early morning dreams? Please tell me they have another purpose in this world.)

This is when a Night-Owl best buddy comes in handy. Whenever something happens in our lives and we don't know quite what to do, or how to handle it- particularly between the hours of 11pm-5am, we call our awesome friend, who also happens to be named Dan. If you don't have a Dan in your life, you should get one, because generally speaking, they bring about tremendous things. Sometimes having two Dans in my life gets confusing, but I'm not complaining. For the purposes of avoiding any further confusion, we'll refer to my non-husband Dan as Dan2.


Please meet Dan2 (+ the ocean):

Over the years, Dan2 has helped us in many late night urgent-but-not-quite-emergency types of situations. There was the time we heard gunshots. There was the time our neighbor insisted on driving his tractor at 2 a.m. There was the time we needed a marriage therapist. There was the time we were bored, or had a rare case of insomnia. Naturally, Dan2 is always wide awake, so over the years he's become our go-to man when we need something from the outside world. 


Night Owls are quite handy.


As my Dan was stripping off his skunk scented PJ's, I didn't know what to do other than reach for the phone and call Dan 2. Being a dog owner himself and having had multiple dog-skunking experiences, he was full of suggestions. We were instructed to make a potion of tomato juice, baking soda, and hydrogen peroxide. He stayed on the phone with us, walked us through the process, and helped us create a shopping list of necessary items. Oh, that's right. A grocery store visit was necessary because we didn't have any large cans of tomato juice on hand. Not just any grocery store....the one about 15 minutes away was the only one operating 24 hours.

It's hard to be a dog owner.


So my Dan was off, residual skunk smell and all. Moments later, as I was prepping the scene for dog-washing and deskunking, I heard a car pull into our driveway. It's now probably around 2:30 a.m., and the only thing that comes to my mind is, Great. Dan just got in an accident on the way to the grocery store while retreiving tomato juice. The cops are here to tell me he's been taken to the hospital. My house reeks of skunk. This is officially the dumbest night of my life.

But really, it was Dan2, ready to save the day.
You guys....he showed up with (are you ready for this?): every necessary de-skunking ingredient, rain gear attire, gloves, breathing mask, dog washing potions & equipment, and even a dog-washing bench to sit on. I was in my unmatching PJ's with bed head and morning breath, grateful but speechless.


As if this wasn't enough, he walked in with his game face, ready for battle and said, "Where's the dog? I've got this." AND THEN HE PROCEEDED TO WASH AND DE-SKUNK OUR DOG. I'm telling you: y'all need to get yourselves a Night Owl best friend. But I'm not willing to share ours; you'll have to go find your own.
Anyway, I love a good 3 a.m. photo op:

Don't be scared; though it looks like blood, really Truman is just covered in tomato paste. That stuff works magic.

Here's Dan2, the only person I know who can de-skunk a dog WITH A SMILE.

Here we are, approximately 3a.m. Happy to have a clean puppy. Even happier that somehow we avoided getting our pretty little hands dirty & stinky.

After repeatedly thanking Dan2 for his above & beyond helpful services, he replied with,

"What? That's just what friends do. It's no big deal. You'd do the same for me."

I don't know how to break this to you, Dan2, but I'll try to do this gently. I'm pretty sure that if you ever called me at 2 in the morning to tell me your dog got sprayed by a skunk, the chances of me getting out of bed and driving to your house to help clean up the mess are slim to none. I don't even think I would hear the phone ring at that hour. In fact, I can say with the utmost confidence that I would definitely NOT show up at your house ready to bathe your dog.


But please take note: we love you dearly. We'll just have to find alternative ways to show you.