Sweet Dreams

I know they say money doesn't buy happiness. But don't you sometimes think "they" are not entirely correct?

Because I sure wish I had enough money to give my husband an entire day of pampering and relaxation. At this very moment he's sound asleep on our bed, curled up in the fetal position, and snoring away (a rarity; usually reserved for evenings of intoxication or extreme exhaustion. In this instance, it's the latter). Sometimes I wonder what it feels like to be the primary bread winner of the family, the man who singlehandedly holds an entire family together. The man who comes home from one job, and immediately changes clothes to prepare for his second job. This family could not work without him. I'm fairly certain I would crumble under that much pressure.

Looking in from the outside, it might appear that I'm the independent, free-spirited "strong" one. But this man is my rock, and anchors me so beautifully, so perfectly. I wish I could wake up in the morning and surprise him with a professional massage-- this I know would make him happy. But for now, I'll cuddle up next to him, cover up his cold feet that have escaped the warmth of our blankets, gently nudge him to breakup the snoring, and whisper in his ear,

"Thank you".

Um, Hello?....Is This Thing On?

How can I break this down in its easiest, simplest form?

To be succinct, I'll say this:
Nicole + full time Mama job + full time wife/household engineer duties + new part time high-stress job + holiday madness = a sad little blog that has been neglected for two months, 1 week & 4 days.

I did it! I broke it down, and it only took one sentence! See, I've been dreading this blog posting for quite some time. Especially when I consider those of you who have remained so faithful to me, sometimes emailing me or asking me in person, "Uh, what the hell happened to your blogging?"  If you were one of those people, did you sense my nervous laughter and my stressed-induced tic? Or the stammering for the words to explain? It's hard to REALLY explain where I've been, and why blogging went out the window, except to say- a high stress lifestyle, such as the one I've been introduced to the last two months, apparently sucks the life out of every creative brain cell I own. There were many days I'd sit down in front of the computer, ready to write after a long day, and all that I could muster was something along the lines of "my feet hurt and sure do sweat a lot when I'm working".

So, I thought I'd spare you.

But as my glamorous part-time job as a seasonal sales associate at Williams-Sonoma seems to be slowly waning (as expected), suddenly there's room in my brain for other things. Like people, showering, exercising, weekend football. Lately, I've noticed there is a creative itch that has (re)surfaced. And I'm here to get scratching.

After all, Ben has his first loose tooth (WHO GETS A LOOSE TOOTH AT 4.5?), and Ella is flirting with the idea of potty training. And there was a recent incident in which Dan ended up explaining to Ben how babies are made without me there to control the conversation.

So, yeah. We've got some things to talk about, sweet blog of mine.

Baby steps to getting back on the saddle again.

Smitten

Image by Gabriela Camerotti via FlickrI love that, even after nearly 6 years of marriage, it still gives me goosebumps and butterflies to hear my husband on the phone say, "Alright, I'm packing up here at work and coming home now". I imagine that I might evoke the same feelings in him when I put a really big plate of pasta and a glass of wine in front of him after an exceptionally long day. I guess in our own little ways, we're learning what to say & do to keep this marriage alive and exciting. I'm so grateful I married a man that's as committed to the "long haul" as I am.