The Facts of Life

A couple of months ago, Dan was driving around with the kids in the car doing errands, while I was at home eating bon-bons and working on my tan. Naturally.

When they got home, Dan nonchalantly mentioned that essentially Ben asked where babies come from, but not to worry because he "totally handled it". Immediately I panicked, for two reasons.

1) Ben is not yet even 5 years old. I was fairly convinced that this subject wouldn't even cross his mind for like 10 more years. This means that we've greatly underestimated his curious little brain by not planning any age-appropriate responses as of yet. How could we let this happen! People, may I remind you that this is what I went to school for? I mean, not specifically to explain sex to children, but I went to school to understand their little brains. My  Early Childhood Education courses really could be renamed, "how to explain things to kids in an age-appropriate manner". It should be noted that I got A's in all of these courses.
2) Dan & I handle things quite differently when it comes to this stuff. I tend to use my E.C.E. voodoo magic and redirect the conversation (some might label this "avoidance"), and Dan tends to tackle things head on, even if he doesn't have a plan.

So here's how his impromptu sex-ed conversation unfolded.

(Um, and for the record- NO, I AM NOT PREGNANT)


Ben: Daddy, I think that Mommy is going to have another baby sometime.
Dan: You do? Why do you think that?
B: I just do. I think that she is gonna get a baby in her tummy soon.
D: Well, it doesn't really work that way, buddy. Mommies & Daddies have to want a baby- they don't just magically appear in Mommy's tummy.
B: Does God put the baby in Mommy's tummy?
D: Well, yes. Sort of. But Mommy & Daddy have a big role in it as well.
B: Like what? What do you do?
D: Well, Bud. There's a special hug that Mommy & Daddy do to make a baby.
B: Oh.
D: Yup. It's called the "marital embrace".
B: Ohhhhhhhh. I see. Do you like, put one arm around her neck, and Mommy puts her arm around your back?
D: Uh, sure Buddy. There's lots of ways to do it, but that's certainly one way to do it.

You see? THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I'M NOT THERE TO CONTROL THE SITUATION!

When I gave Dan a hard time about this interaction (and by "hard time", I mean that I shrieked a lot and used his full birth name), he wanted to know what I would have done differently.

Aside from EVERYTHING, I said, "Dan, if Ben wanted to know about where babies come from, I probably would have told him they are a miracle, and therefore an inexplicable mystery. And then I would have changed the subject to Star Wars and trucks."

So, um.....who's got a good book on explaining where babies come from for me us to borrow?

There Is Hope

Since the number one objective of this blog is to relay the everyday happenings of our little family, I can't not write about what we've indirectly been through and witnessed this past week. To write about anything else right now feels completely impertinent.

My sister-in-law's sister & her husband lost their beautiful 5 year old daughter, completely unexpectedly, a week ago Sunday. Most of you are quite familiar with the story by now, but for those of you who aren't, I believe this has been the most tragic loss our little community of friends & loved ones has ever experienced. It has literally rocked me to my core, made me slow down, hug my children more often, and rethink the things I've labeled as "hardships" in my life. How silly I can be, allowing something like a messy house to bring stress and discord to my home. How shallow I feel for occasionally allowing traffic to bring out the worst in me. It's beyond powerful when the life & death of a precious child can literally make you rethink your priorities in this world. Sweet Stella, if you only knew how much you've already impacted so many people!

Every day this week, I've woken up with a renewed state of mind: it is an honor that I get to spend today loving my children, my husband, and those I come in contact with. How blessed are those of us who have health, family, and love today....

My sister-in-law shared her own thoughts on this tremendous loss. I found it to be consoling and hope-giving, in a virtually devastating situation. In the midst of all of this, the power of love is truly irrefutable. You can read her beautiful tribute here.

Footloose

Back in the day before I was married and had kids, I always pictured myself having spontaneous dance parties with my family, the kind where everyone genuinely lets loose and displays their inner dance genius. Then, once I met and fell in love with Dan, I knew these future dance parties would be inevitable. The man is a dancing machine, one I can hardly keep up with. On the dance floor he's been known to steal the show, particularly at weddings. There was the time he wore his tie around his head, bandanna style, while moonwalking. There was the time he used the trees at an outside reception as dance props. There was the time where SEVERAL people grew suspicious that he might be a "wedding crasher", given the way he moved with such uninhibited freedom. There was even a very animated T-Rex impersonation during the toast portion of our own wedding, but I digress.

So it should come as no surprise that our offspring have a deep passion for dancing, and find ways to incorporate it into our daily routine as often as possible. Example: After a long, tiring day, Ben might offer this gem of advice: "Mom, we should probably just go home, and have a dance party." And of course, we usually do because nothing can melt my anger or stress or frustration like seeing my babies trying to imitate their crazy parents on the living room dance floor.

I am beyond thrilled that I was somehow able to capture this mini mid-day dance party with the kiddos. Make sure to keep a close eye on Ben- all the way up to the very last second of the video.

Oh my.

Preschool

So I'm a bit behind in the blogging, and now stories and events in our lives have gotten majorly backlogged. I feel like we went from not a whole lot going on to everything is going on in the span of a couple weeks. I was overwhelmed with how many things I've been wanting to blog about, and didn't know where to begin. And then, the wise words of Fraulein Maria to the Von Trapp children entered my brain and I realized, Duh. Let's start at the very beginning. A very good place to start.

So we'll start with a whopping two weeks ago, a.k.a. Ben's first week of Preschool! This has been a landmark 4 years and 4 months in the making, and I cannot tell you the joy that the separation of 4 hours, twice a week has brought to my relationship with my boy. We actually have time now to miss each other, time to look forward to spending together. He wants to cuddle more than ever before, wants me to hold him on my lap after dinner and hug and kiss him. It's like he just realized that I'm not just the chef & housekeeper around here. I'm a mom with squishy parts that are probably really great to cuddle up to. Sometimes I wish I could cuddle up with me, too.

However, don't let all this cuddling fool you. This child did not show one second of sadness or separation anxiety when the big day arrived. Just because he's all lovey dovey on his days off does NOT mean he isn't enjoying preschool every second that he's there. The pictures from his first day of school depict this perfectly. Who IS this overly confident, Mr. Too Cool For School extrovert?

(Are you kidding me? The thumbs up and the squinted cool-boy eyes? Did I mention that he insisted on posing before I snapped any of these photos?)

Nope. No lack of confidence issues going on here.

Sissy never likes to miss a great photo op.

In front of the preschool, which just so happens to be the cutest little red chapel building you've ever seen. And yes, there's even a white picket fence around it.

In the classroom, ready to play with the tools. It's a shame he's so introverted and holding back his first day, don't you think?

And in closing, I leave you with the mother of all photos. There is so much to love about this picture, but let me point out my favorite's: 1) Ben. It's probably hard to recognize him, because clearly he's been transformed into a superhero with his new-found superhero cape, and his new best friend, Maizie. Maizie is awesome because she's always willing to play superhero games AND cars. This is obviously a match made in heaven. 2) Ella, my little mini-me multi-tasking wanna-be Mama. I love her. And at just under 2 years old, I am very impressed by her abilities to hold a conversation on the phone and keep her baby happy. She screams EVERY SINGLE TIME we have to leave preschool and doesn't get to stay. 3) Since it was his first day, Ben is wearing a name tag so his teachers could learn the new students names quickly. HE IS NOT THE ONLY BEN IN THE CLASS! I was shocked and slightly taken aback. We've never met another little boy named Ben! We've met grown-up Bens and have seen celebrity Bens on movies, but never another real life little boy Ben. According to his teachers, I needn't worry; he's already made quite a name for himself around there.

A Cliff's Notes Guide: Gender Roles

This (early) morning while I was having "cozy time" in bed with the kids, Ben, who must have had some serious ants in his pants, kept "accidentally" kicking or bonking me in the gut. Ella & I were perfectly still, lying cuddled up close, and this crazy person next to us was somewhat ruining the moment. I was doing my best to handle the situation with patience, but he should really know better then to mess with his mother before she's had her first cup of coffee. First, I thought I could simply scare him off with my less-than-fresh morning breath. After that failed, I asked him to please stop wiggling around so much or he'd have to leave the warm cocoon of my bed, and this is what went down:

Ben: Well, Mama, did you know that I can't really sit still right now because girls just really like to be loving. But boys really like to be brave. So you & Sissy have to be loving, but I'm being brave right now.

Me: Um, okay. But Ben, girls aren't the only ones who like to be loving. Boys like to be loving, too.

Ben: Well..... sometimes they like to be loving. But FIRST they like to be brave, and THEN they can be loving. Because that's the truth about boys.

If you've never read John Gray's best-seller Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, don't bother. Ben just did you a favor and summed it all up for you. And yes, for those interested, he'll be available to provide couples counseling for a nominal fee.

Social Graces

Now that Ben is a little over 4 years old, we're entering a new phase in our parenting where we are forced to teach him some basic social graces. (Insert weary sigh of fatigue). The kid has the vocabulary and annunciation skills of a 10 year old, so when he says something to a stranger (or even worse, a non-stranger) that makes Dan & I blush and laugh nervously, chances are he was understood and heard on the receiving end, loud and clear. When you couple his innocent 4 year old curiosity with his extroverted social personality, things come out of his mouth that either make me laugh or break out in a sweat. Sometimes, it's both.

A few weeks ago, we went as a family to our favorite park in the late afternoon. We got to talking with a man who was there walking his dog, a friendly though fairly rough-around-the-edges kind of guy, probably in his late 50s. (We'll call him George). Ben was off in the distance playing in the sandbox when he looked up and realized that there was some form of socialization going on without him, so he came barreling over to join the conversation, and relentlessly show off his Spiderman-like moves, muscles, and sound effects. This is usually the time in the conversation where I would introduce Ben to the 3rd party stranger (i.e. George), trying desperately to model good etiquette. But lately, I'm just trying to show Ben that there are ways of interacting and impressing a stranger other than shooting phantom "webs" at them or insisting that they feel his giant Spiderman biceps. (You might think I'm joking; I'm not).

However, right after George was finished talking about his own personal system for graffiti control at the park, I introduced Ben to this new stranger. After an enthusiastic hello Ben immediately declared something along the lines of,

"Hey, my Dad is way bigger than you."

Dan & I both laughed- because it really was funny, especially considering this was not a small man we were talking to. On the contrary, I'm pretty sure he was bigger than Dan & I put together. But then, trying to segue from a statement like that is nearly impossible. There is no good response deemed appropriate for a situation like that one. So aside from laughing nervously and feeling more awkward than a girl at a junior-high dance, what did I do? What did the Mother and Teacher of social etiquette say to her son?

"Hey Ben, did you want to show him your awesome Spiderman muscles?"

Camping, Revisited

Alright, let's be honest. Nobody thought I'd EVER get around to this post, right? Even I am filled with more self-loathing than ever before. Shame on me for taking two months to write about this major life event! I mean, this alleged "camping trip"was practically a whole lifetime ago, and it's not exactly fresh on my brain now. It's like the meat you see in the grocery store that has a special fluorescent orange discount sticker on it because of its rapidly changing color and interesting smell. (Which makes me wonder, who buys that meat? Here's what I say: if I'm in a position where I don't have enough money to buy fresh, un-rotten meat, then I vote going without. But that's just me.) Anyway, that's my brain when it comes to this little trip. Once I lost the original camping posting due to some freak computer glitch, I sort of lost the will to blog about it ever again, but I feel I owe it to my kids to have it properly documented for their sake. Otherwise, they may never believe that it actually happened. Nothing like a little crazy Mom guilt to light a fire under my ass. 

Alright, buckle up! Here we go:

Here, we have a very handsome & robust Dan, modeling his camping backpack from the days of his camping bachelorhood (he's a man of SO many talents, that husband of mine). He was very excited to show me how much crap this thing could actually contain. If you look below his elbow closely, you can see that there's even a compartment for toilet paper. Such a smart backpack! Camping learned lesson #1: it's really helpful when you go camping with a husband who is so giddy to be reunited with nature, he'll even pose for backpack pictures.

I realize my awesome photography skills didn't capture much else but glare in this photo, but if you strain to look through that, you will see our very jam-packed car. Camping learned lesson #2: Camping with children requires a whole lot of stuff. What you see in this car is basically everything we own. I was nervous I'd forget SOMEthing and then be miserable for 48 hours, but in reality, I don't think we utilized half of what we brought. Rookies!

Here the kids are strapped in & ready to roll, but not unlike dogs, could probably sense Mama's tense nerves and were probably experiencing a tummy butterfly or two themselves. On second thought, maybe they were just scared things were going to crush them, because please notice the mountain of cargo behind them.

Here, Ella is like, "You guys are crazy and make me want to jump out of this dang car seat, but you do always feed me, so therefore I'll stick around and surrender to this chaos." For a baby under 2, she really is wise beyond her years. Also, aren't her rag-a-muffin pigtails the cutest you've ever seen?

Here, Ben is like, "Doesn't this blue shirt bring out my gorgeous blue eyes? Also, are we there yet? WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE WE'RE STILL PARKED IN THE GARAGE?"

So fast forward the fairly uneventful 60+ minute car ride up to Big Basin, and now we've arrived. Except timing wasn't our greatest strength that day because we didn't have much daylight left, and I won't lie; there was some panic as the fellas set up camp. The realization of- wait, there are zero light switches we get to flip when it gets dark- slowly set in. Nobody wants to set up a (ginormous) tent in the darkness. So the boys huddled up, devised a plan, and got to work. My Dan is on the left, our dear friend (the "other" Dan) is on the right. Please notice his kneepads- this is serious camping business. 

They saved the day! Tent assembled! Number of injuries: 0. Sounds like the perfect time to open a bottle of wine! 

Isn't it breathtakingly gorgeous? Those giant wonderful trees! The delicious fresh air! Even the dirt was sort of pretty. Side note: our Mercedes-of-a-tent came fully loaded with a "front porch" area. I was sort of hoping it would be equipped with electricity as well, but I guess we had an older model.

This is Ben's semi-new favorite person in his world, and his name is Gavin. If you met him, you would want to hug him and squeeze his cheeks because he is hands-down one of the sweetest little boys on earth and has the voice of an angel. He's one of those kids who I'm hoping will forever infect Ben with his sweet, innocent boyishness. I love when they spend time together, and basically, camping was one big Ben & Gavin fest. I've never seen two boys so happy to be together, and so happy to be downright dirty.

Ben, being a scary jungle animal of sorts. And sweet Gavin- even when he's trying to be scary he's just exudes cuteness.

So remember how one of my big camping concerns was what the heck to do all day long (specifically, #6 on my top 10 list)? This was it! We sat and  learned to play a new favorite game, Mexican Train. I don't even play dominoes in any form, but this was great. Then of course, there was some beer drinking.

Then we went on a big group hike, which was lovely....until Ben's legs got too tired to keep moving. Then it got tricky. Learned camping lesson #3 : 4 miles is about 2 miles too many for a 4 year old hiker who hasn't napped. But it was gorgeous, and I got in touch with my inner hiker. She's a tigress!

Ben was thrilled to find a real-life fuzzy caterpillar:

Ella was thrilled to learn that Auntie Liz was willing to carry her a heck of a lot more than Mommy was willing. So they had some quality girl time so that Mommy could continue in Operation Laziness, and drink her beer in peace.

More friendly camping nothingness. Camping learned lesson #4: doing nothing and sitting outside is wonderful.

Here we are on our 2nd (and final) night, preparing a feast fit for a king. You might think I'm joking, but just wait for it...

Well hello perfectly marbled, gorgeous salmon! You're so cute with your pretty lemon slices-- but wait! What's this I see? Are you stuffed on the inside?!

Why yes, you are! What on earth did I do to deserve this royal treatment???? Guys, it was like manna pouring down from the heavens. Being the sushi junkie that I am, I had to stop my hand from picking it up and just eating it raw. Can you blame me?

And all I had to do was provide a black bean salad! (Don't get me wrong- the black bean salad was rad....anytime a recipe includes onion, mango & cilantro on the ingredient list, you KNOW it's going to be scrumptious. I don't even think this is a matter of opinion- it just is). The salmon (a.k.a. manna) was provided and prepared courtesy of our new friends, Rikki & Jack. (Hi Rikki & Jack! Want to go camping again?) Here is where I will mention that Jack is a real life chef...how could I NOT fall in love with camping??? Camping learned lesson #5 : Always go camping with a chef. Here they are, our Salmon Sugar-Parents:

Here's the full spread. Not too shabby for a camping trip, eh? If I was to caption this picture, it would say: Melon salad, veggies and bread, beautiful manna-salmon, three bean salad. AND WINE. Yes, as I recall, the wine was deeeeelightful. We even set up a separate table designated as "The Bar". 

This is the part of the evening when our bellies were full of salmon and wine, so we just smiled and took a bunch of photos. Here: the Findricks & Stublers

Me, Christina & Rikki. Don't you dare look at my camping greasiness!

Dewigs (minus Ben- where did Ben go? Oh right- to Gavin-land) + Findricks:

The night ended as any quintessential camping trip night should: with s'mores (Ben's 1st, my 1,001st)).... 

...And with glow stick swords! (Thanks for this picture, Kasia!)

Overall, what do I think about camping? Let me put it this way: my birthday is coming up in a month, and I'm thinking a camping trip might be in order.I think this could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship...

Hi-Ho!

It's off to the wilderness we go! If you recall, one of my many camping fears was the unfortunate possibility of meeting up with a snake, and our lack of preparation for such a moment. Last night, Dan was unpacking all of his camping gear from the good ol' days of bachelorhood, and beaming with pride, he unveiled his trusty pocket camping knife. The sheer joy it brought to his face was classic- it was like two lovers being reunited after years apart. I decided it was time for a test- THE test: I asked him if we should cross paths with a snake, and if I should deem it necessary (which I would), could he kill a snake with the camping knife? Would he do it? Could he do it? I'm pretty sure he scoffed at me and replied, "Babe, are you kidding me? Of course. You don't need to worry about anything."

Congratulations, Husband! YOU PASSED THE TEST WITH FLYING COLORS! And now, back to my hourly camping mantra, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can....


Stay tuned; obviously, a full detailed report of Dewig's First Camping Trip will be given as soon as possible.

Take 5

This week I am so grateful that, without even trying, my kids remind me to take a break from the stress of life, slow down, and enjoy something as simple as a popsicle. Lime and grape flavored. In my grown-up world of checklists and must do's, I almost missed this moment of innocent sibling silliness, and I'm just so grateful I forced myself to take a break from whatever "important" thing I was doing, and grabbed my camera. Also, it should be noted that this little photo shoot ended in a hilarious water fight with two naked kiddos.