Sweet Dreams

I know they say money doesn't buy happiness. But don't you sometimes think "they" are not entirely correct?

Because I sure wish I had enough money to give my husband an entire day of pampering and relaxation. At this very moment he's sound asleep on our bed, curled up in the fetal position, and snoring away (a rarity; usually reserved for evenings of intoxication or extreme exhaustion. In this instance, it's the latter). Sometimes I wonder what it feels like to be the primary bread winner of the family, the man who singlehandedly holds an entire family together. The man who comes home from one job, and immediately changes clothes to prepare for his second job. This family could not work without him. I'm fairly certain I would crumble under that much pressure.

Looking in from the outside, it might appear that I'm the independent, free-spirited "strong" one. But this man is my rock, and anchors me so beautifully, so perfectly. I wish I could wake up in the morning and surprise him with a professional massage-- this I know would make him happy. But for now, I'll cuddle up next to him, cover up his cold feet that have escaped the warmth of our blankets, gently nudge him to breakup the snoring, and whisper in his ear,

"Thank you".

Smitten

Image by Gabriela Camerotti via FlickrI love that, even after nearly 6 years of marriage, it still gives me goosebumps and butterflies to hear my husband on the phone say, "Alright, I'm packing up here at work and coming home now". I imagine that I might evoke the same feelings in him when I put a really big plate of pasta and a glass of wine in front of him after an exceptionally long day. I guess in our own little ways, we're learning what to say & do to keep this marriage alive and exciting. I'm so grateful I married a man that's as committed to the "long haul" as I am.

Male Bonding

Dan arrived home today looking weary-eyed and dejected after a particularly grueling day at work. It breaks my heart to see him suffer in any capacity, especially in the realm of work-related stress because Lord knows the man works harder than anyone I know, and adding any extraneous pressure to his already overflowing workload somehow feels unjust. But that's just me and my unbiased little opinion. And although these days or moments of job-related tensions are few and far between, I found myself in a mild state of panic, racking my brain on the words and actions I needed to contrive to bring my husband comfort and support. Though this may come as an alarming shock to some (bite your tongues), I tend to be the more...."emotionally-spirited" spouse in our marriage, where Dan is typically the calm, cool and collected rock that anchors us. I tend to scream and yell and cry and complain and excel at sharing EVERY EMOTION I HAVE. He's gotten really good at looking at me with raised eyebrows and telling me to relax. It's a marriage made in heaven.

So, the mild state of panic. But what could I say, really? What do you say to someone who is visibly in the moment, working something out in their head?

I helplessly listened, I tried to offer loving support and insight. I waited for him to decompress in a way that I would decompress: talking. Talking to close friends, talking to family, blogging (my silent form of talking). Talking, talking, talking. And then sleep. And probably a little shopping. And hopefully a no-water, soy chai latte. Grande.

But tonight, it was Ben's turn to became his rock, and he didn't even know it.

After dinner, the two of them practically sat in silence while playing with Ben's wooden blocks. They sat there next to each other, in complete unison, building, thinking, designing, and occasionally verbalizing their engineering strategies. There was some obvious bonding occurring, and the two of them were in a zone of testosterone that I could not enter, nor did I want to. That's when it struck me how different we are; in times like these, Dan craves the quiet solace of "the cave" and I run from it, screaming like a crazy person. While I find incredible consolation in talking "it" out, in this moment, I think Dan derived the exact equivalence within the comfort of his home, holding his boy in practical silence. Building castles and towers and buildings and helicopters.

Sufficed to say, I think Ben earned himself a sticker on his chart today, fair and square.

Date Night

Image by Martha★ via Flickr

Saturday night was our Valentine's Day Date Night, and we thought we had bamboozled the entire public by going out and celebrating a whole day early. What a couple of CRAZY kids we are! Here was the recipe for our date night beat-the-crowd success (in case you want to take notes and plan better for next year):

1) I went to Ross and found one very adorable/ridiculously comfortable/very affordable dress to wear approximately one hour before Date departure time. In this instance, $10 was a small price to pay for the level of cuteness I brought to the table. And when Dan saw this level of cuteness, he knew it was time to bring the big guns.
2) Dan bringing the big guns = Dan got super cute himself and applied Marc Jacobs cologne (which Ben passionately praised Dan for before we left the house, claiming that he smelled quite "fresh"). Dan also wore his new fedora which made him even taller and sexier and further affirming my decision to marry him 5 years and 3 months ago. I haven't always made the best decisions, but that one stays at the top of my "way to go" list.
3) Went to dinner ridiculously early (because this sneaky tactic will always yield many table possibilities AND increase your chances of arriving upon some sort of "happy hour" special).
4) Went to see a movie that has been out for 2 months (in our case, the very "romantic" Avatar) and consequently the dust had settled around the hype of said movie. Therefore, we were able to claim two decent seats. And honestly, half the fun of it all was smuggling in 3 bags of M&M's that we purchased from the gas station just minutes before. Because when you're paying $11 for a movie ticket (can you believe they charge $2 whole extra dollars for the 3-D!) buying M&M's for a decent price feels like a small victory. For the record, and for those curious, I did enjoy Avatar. It was visually incredible and really quite beautiful. But I'm sure anyone reading this already knows the reasons to see Avatar because Dan & I were most likely the last people on earth to see it.
5) Drove home holding hands, arrived home relaxed, paid the babysitter, received one angry voicemail from our grumpy neighbor who complains about our dog (we're going with the "kill them with kindness" approach), cuddled up and fell asleep within 3.5 seconds of hitting my pillow.

I hope I always get excited to put on a dress for Dan, and I hope he always gets excited to put cologne on for me. Because in our crazy day-to-day lives, both gestures are rare.  But I cherish having such a simple way to let him know that I love him with all of my heart.

Really, it was quite the perfect evening.