Reading Between the Lines

In my mind, if a new wine aerator arrives on your doorstep just minutes before lunch prep begins, clearly it is a sign that God wants you to have a wine break with lunch. So that's what I'm doing. After all, it is Lent, and I wouldn't want to be disobedient. And who knew a glass of aerated wine would go so nicely with carrots & turkey slices, anyway?

In other news: Thank God I didn't give wine up for lent. Because then this would be a terribly tempting and ultimately disappointing afternoon.

35 Down, 5 To Go

In less than one week, Lent will come to a (much-anticipated close), which, among other things, roughly translates into: if I'm so inclined, my sugar/alcohol intake may officially resume again. Cause for celebration, right?

But if I'm being honest, I must admit I'm a bit shocked at how easily I've adjusted to such a major dietary change in such a short time span. The human body is fascinating, with its ability to adapt, adjust, start fresh, and keep going. I was reflecting back on what the last 30+ days have been like, and I was struck by what a positive experience this sugar/alcohol fast has actually been. I can't even believe I'm admitting this to the public blogging world, but it really hasn't been that awful. Don't get me wrong, of course I had some moments of panic, doubt, grumpiness & weakness, and I'm sure every member of my family would willingly attest to that. But overall, I think I've handled this okay. And truth be told, I've sort of learned how to function without all that sugar. On the couple of rare occasions I've allowed myself to have sweets (just a bite, for taste), it was somewhat disappointing because it was large jolts of OVER THE TOP sweetness. Sickening sweet. Like, Fruit Loops sweet. Hostess Cupcakes sweet. All this time, I've been giving my taste buds the equivalence of a cardiac arrest because I simply didn't think I could go without. Shame on me! I've got more strength and will-power than I've ever given myself credit for. I mean, good gracious, if I somehow found the strength to push out two babies, I can certainly find the strength to JUST SAY NO to cake/ice cream/cookies/chocolate/pastries!

Alcohol, however, is a totally different beast. NOTHING ELSE can give me that relaxing wind-down feeling like a glass of wine.
Nothing.
I mean, why else do you think Jesus drank wine at weddings? Jesus is the smartest.

Now, what's a little sacrifice without a little reflection? So here is the Reflection Section of my blog, where I thought it appropriate to share some things I've learned through this experience. First, let me introduce  you to 3 of my new best friends:

• Sparkling water has changed my life. Something about those little bubbles make me feel like I've just kicked the "fancy" level up a notch. If I may quote Emeril Lagasse, BAM! Regular water becomes fancy water! And when it's infused with the essence of lime or orange, it's extra delightful. DOUBLE BAM! Drinking it out of a wine glass has almost brainwashed me into thinking I've got something pretty snazzy in my glass. Extra hidden bonus: the carbonation from the sparkling water usually makes my tummy feel full, so when I drink it throughout the day, I tend to feel less hungry/snacky. Awesome! I will definitely continue this trend. (Disclaimer: if the water has become flat and lost its fizz, I refuse to drink it. Who wants sparkling water without the sparkle? Pointless)
• Popcorn saved me in my darkest I-want-sugar-now moments. A while ago, we stopped buying those super convenient microwave bags of popcorn and opted for the big giant tub of kernels you can get at Costco (so much cheaper, so much healthier and SO MUCH TASTIER!) At night when I would crave a sweet treat, I would often make a small batch of popcorn on the stove, and season it with salt & garlic powder (and on rare occasions when I must have been PMSing, cayenne powder was thrown into the mix). I got to a point where I wasn't even adding a smidgen of butter! This is huge, as I am a passionate lover of salted butter (just ask Alicia). But once I went without, I realized I just didn't need it. And--stop the press-- the popcorn still tasted fantastic.
• LARABARS! Do y'all know about these? You can read all about 'em here, but in short, they are GLUTEN FREE * DAIRY FREE * SOY FREE * NON-GMO * VEGAN * KOSHER delicious, tasty bars. Coconut cream pie is hands-down my favorite, and I will drive across the county just to stock up. So, if anyone out there from Larabar-land is reading this, SEND ME FREE BARS! Please! I'll eat them and blog about them and come up with new flavor ideas and sing your praises until the end of time! This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

So as it stands, the plan is to continue with a sugar-free/"light" alcohol diet during the week, with sweets/plural glasses of wine allowed on the weekend. All within reasonable moderation, obviously. 

Except, of course, when Summertime heat arrives and homemade ice cream season begins. All bets are off then, and rules of moderation will no longer apply. Obviously.

Update

Image via Wikipedia

Today is day seven of my no sugar/no alcohol Lenten commitment, and I am happy to report I am going strong. Full disclosure: I may have accidentally had a one inch bite of some leftover brownie but it felt like a rock in my belly and I immediately regretted it and swore off brownies forever. Aside from that, I've been hardcore. I was expecting detox tremors and the cold sweats, but in reality, I've just learned to function without it. For example, unsweetened applesauce is a lovely substitute for jam on my morning flax-seed toaster waffles. And who needs wine when there's water? They're practically the same thing, right? And I'm sure Dan will catch on soon, but I've learned that when he's drinking wine in the evening, if I cuddle up close and kiss him more often than usual, it's almost like I'm having a glass of wine, too. It's like getting a contact high, but with wine.

I have a feeling there will be an unprecedented number of kisses from here til Easter. See? WIN-WIN!

Sacrifice

Last Wednesday marked the beginning of Lent, a time when many people choose to "give something up"; to abstain from something or some habit or some vice in our lives, until Easter arrives. The hope is that rather than turn to these things or habits or vices, we turn to prayer, mediation, acts of kindness/charity instead, and embrace these small "sufferings" and await the inevitable transformations that become of it. Honestly, I've not always been a big fan of the "giving something up"- I don't usually feel convicted one way or another, and I feel like a decision to truly sacrifice something ought to be done with strong conviction and should be heartfelt and meaningful. Truthfully, I wanted to avoid committing a personal "Lenten tokenism".

As a kid growing up, we were forced EVERY YEAR to give up TV watching. Which was okay for the most part, except that wouldn't you know it- EVERY YEAR the Oscars would happen during Lent season, and I'm pretty sure I was the only girl in the whole world who didn't get to see the glamor unfold on the red carpet, or see acceptance speeches, or swoon over live footage of Tom Cruise and Kevin Costner in tuxedos. I might still be carrying around a little bitterness over it. I promise never to do this to my children unless they're in a phase of severe misbehavior and I need a decent bribe to get me through til Christmas time.

And then I got the bright idea (and conviction! and excitement! and passion!) to give up my two favorite past-times: eating sweets and drinking wine. That's right. I am now on a heavily restricted no-sugar diet (because I still eat fruit and I sometimes use a little honey to sweeten my sad, plain yogurt) and a complete lock-down no-alcohol diet (because I'm crazy). I was really excited about this because it's a win-win no matter how you look at it. Anything I can do to supplement the hard work I've been doing in the gym over the last 3 months is only going to encourage me further, and I've given something up that has truly been a sacrifice. I wanted to choose something meaningful, and by golly- sugar & alcohol have always held a special place in my heart. It's made me aware of all the other things I can be doing with my time, my body, my mind in lieu of ingesting sugar or alcohol. It's also made me aware of how much I adore unwinding with a glass (or two) of wine.

I won't lie, it's been...difficult.

Day 1, I had one of the worst headaches of my life. I'd like to think it was an unrelated headache, because it's not like I eat doughnuts and drink shots of vodka from sunrise to sunset or anything. How the heck could I be "withdrawing" so quickly? Was this a head game (pun intended)? The headache lingered all day long, tempting me to just call the whole thing off, throw in the towel, run down to the closest 7-11 and buy myself some M&M's and a bottle of sauvignon blanc. But I'm actually quite fond of this challenge because I know that I can do it. When I think of how many more instances I'm going to have a craving for one or both things, and how many instances I'm going to have to resist the temptation and find something else to do, I cringe. But when I look at it one day, one hour at a time, I feel strengthened and even more passionate about this commitment.

43 days to go. If I don't blog for a few days, it means I cracked under pressure, gave up on the commitment and I'm too ashamed to say so.