Those Were The Days

This morning I got a good laugh while recalling the youthful days of 11 years ago, when I would secretly anticipate- dare I say wish- to get carded. I would proudly whip out my legitimate photo ID, displaying a young, freshly legal 21 year old who could buy any bottle of alcohol desired. Finally! A real ID! I was of legal age! It took 21 long, agonizing years, but I had arrived, and I was most likely buying cheap wine to celebrate.

Fast forward to today, just days before my 32nd birthday, and not much has changed. I still like to buy wine, especially if it's cheap and delicious (Trader Joe's Coastal, at $3.99/bottle, you never disappoint). I like to spare the cashier the awkwardness of having to ask, so I still get excited to whip out my photo ID and have it ready before even prompted. The only difference now is...9 times out of 10, the cashier usually responds with, "Oh, that's ok, sweetie. I don't need to see that." ROUGH TRANSLATION: Let's face it lady, you are obviously over 21. Just put the card away nice & easy, and stop the wishful thinking. And perhaps it's time you rethink your moisturizer routine. And while we're at it, is that an entire patch of gray hair growing on the side of your head?

So today when the grocery checker asked me if I remembered a certain character's name from the 1970s hit show, "The Waltons" I may have accidentally used an "outside voice" to announce the fact that I wasn't even born when that show was a raging hit. And when he raised his eyebrows in utter shock and said in his "outside voice", "REALLY?", I might have thrown my pork tenderloin at his forehead. (Just kidding, you know me; I would never ruin a perfectly good pork tenderloin.)

The Best Age...Really

I'm sure I've said this to myself with the turn of every month, but Ella really is the best age right now. At 21 months old, she is bursting at the seams with personality, smiles, mostly coherent words, deep belly laughs, love for her baby dolls, obsession with shoes & her daddy. As much as I loved (and admittedly, slightly miss) the major milestone months of baby tricks such as crawling, walking & talking, the tricks that Ella can perform now are so much more exciting and meaningful to me. She can pucker her lips for a kiss. She can listen and follow through with 2-step directions. She can put her shoes on & off (and on & off, and on & off). She runs to her Mimi & Papa and screams their names when we arrive to their house. She asks me to lie down so that we can cuddle together. She loves getting her toenails painted. She apologizes to me when she accidentally hurts me or frustrates me. But tonight she showed off a new trick just moments before I laid her in her crib for bedtime. She spotted the moon outside her window, and wide eyed and full of giddy squeals, she blew it kisses goodnight.

There is such a rich abundance of 4 year old testosterone filling the house right now that demands so much of my attention and energy. As wonderful as that is (and by wonderful, I mean exhausting), it feels terrific to have a girl that I can throw a tutu on, and whose hair is the perfect length for pig tails and flower clips.

A Cliff's Notes Guide: Gender Roles

This (early) morning while I was having "cozy time" in bed with the kids, Ben, who must have had some serious ants in his pants, kept "accidentally" kicking or bonking me in the gut. Ella & I were perfectly still, lying cuddled up close, and this crazy person next to us was somewhat ruining the moment. I was doing my best to handle the situation with patience, but he should really know better then to mess with his mother before she's had her first cup of coffee. First, I thought I could simply scare him off with my less-than-fresh morning breath. After that failed, I asked him to please stop wiggling around so much or he'd have to leave the warm cocoon of my bed, and this is what went down:

Ben: Well, Mama, did you know that I can't really sit still right now because girls just really like to be loving. But boys really like to be brave. So you & Sissy have to be loving, but I'm being brave right now.

Me: Um, okay. But Ben, girls aren't the only ones who like to be loving. Boys like to be loving, too.

Ben: Well..... sometimes they like to be loving. But FIRST they like to be brave, and THEN they can be loving. Because that's the truth about boys.

If you've never read John Gray's best-seller Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, don't bother. Ben just did you a favor and summed it all up for you. And yes, for those interested, he'll be available to provide couples counseling for a nominal fee.

Grief

I've been laying low the past few days, sorting out some events that have recently taken place in our lives. One of Dan's colleagues- a wonderful, loving, and sweet man who has done nothing greater in his role as vice-principal than support Dan beautifully- just lost his 21 year old son in a small private plane crash last Friday. When a tragedy of such magnitude hits this close to home, it's difficult to get through the day without feeling incredibly selfish. So, I got stuck in traffic for 20 minutes. So what? I have a 4 year old who is driving me nuts. So what? It's the reason I haven't even dared blog in a week, because suddenly I've gained a whole new level of perspective. When someone you know and love is enduring the most painful moment in their life, somehow it just feels wrong that our lives get to continue, and that such trivial everyday events continue to unfold.

Right now I'm just completely overwhelmed at the juxtaposition of life and death; this family, mourning the loss of their precious son, a fact I am reminded of 1,000 times a day with every moment I get to spend with my children, and with every new memory we are lucky enough to create. Now that I'm a parent, the thought of losing a child takes my breath away. The possibility alone stings my heart. I cannot fathom anything more painful, and I'm left feeling helpless and unsure of how we can support their family in this time of tremendous grief. I find that I'm putting myself in their position multiple times throughout the day, asking, "What would I want from friends & family? How would I want to be comforted?" And so, I've made them a loaf of homemade bread, which will be hand delivered by Dan this afternoon. He'll go to their house to sit with them, to perhaps cry with them, to just be with them. That's the thing about grief- it strips us down to the fragile, vulnerable core, and bonds humans together in a way unlike any other. All we can do now is pray, and let our flood gates of love open wide. I know they'll be taking baby steps towards finding peace. As for today, I just pray for an ample dose of hope.

"Earth hath no sorrow that heaven cannot heal."

-Thomas Moore

Social Graces

Now that Ben is a little over 4 years old, we're entering a new phase in our parenting where we are forced to teach him some basic social graces. (Insert weary sigh of fatigue). The kid has the vocabulary and annunciation skills of a 10 year old, so when he says something to a stranger (or even worse, a non-stranger) that makes Dan & I blush and laugh nervously, chances are he was understood and heard on the receiving end, loud and clear. When you couple his innocent 4 year old curiosity with his extroverted social personality, things come out of his mouth that either make me laugh or break out in a sweat. Sometimes, it's both.

A few weeks ago, we went as a family to our favorite park in the late afternoon. We got to talking with a man who was there walking his dog, a friendly though fairly rough-around-the-edges kind of guy, probably in his late 50s. (We'll call him George). Ben was off in the distance playing in the sandbox when he looked up and realized that there was some form of socialization going on without him, so he came barreling over to join the conversation, and relentlessly show off his Spiderman-like moves, muscles, and sound effects. This is usually the time in the conversation where I would introduce Ben to the 3rd party stranger (i.e. George), trying desperately to model good etiquette. But lately, I'm just trying to show Ben that there are ways of interacting and impressing a stranger other than shooting phantom "webs" at them or insisting that they feel his giant Spiderman biceps. (You might think I'm joking; I'm not).

However, right after George was finished talking about his own personal system for graffiti control at the park, I introduced Ben to this new stranger. After an enthusiastic hello Ben immediately declared something along the lines of,

"Hey, my Dad is way bigger than you."

Dan & I both laughed- because it really was funny, especially considering this was not a small man we were talking to. On the contrary, I'm pretty sure he was bigger than Dan & I put together. But then, trying to segue from a statement like that is nearly impossible. There is no good response deemed appropriate for a situation like that one. So aside from laughing nervously and feeling more awkward than a girl at a junior-high dance, what did I do? What did the Mother and Teacher of social etiquette say to her son?

"Hey Ben, did you want to show him your awesome Spiderman muscles?"

Camping, Revisited

Alright, let's be honest. Nobody thought I'd EVER get around to this post, right? Even I am filled with more self-loathing than ever before. Shame on me for taking two months to write about this major life event! I mean, this alleged "camping trip"was practically a whole lifetime ago, and it's not exactly fresh on my brain now. It's like the meat you see in the grocery store that has a special fluorescent orange discount sticker on it because of its rapidly changing color and interesting smell. (Which makes me wonder, who buys that meat? Here's what I say: if I'm in a position where I don't have enough money to buy fresh, un-rotten meat, then I vote going without. But that's just me.) Anyway, that's my brain when it comes to this little trip. Once I lost the original camping posting due to some freak computer glitch, I sort of lost the will to blog about it ever again, but I feel I owe it to my kids to have it properly documented for their sake. Otherwise, they may never believe that it actually happened. Nothing like a little crazy Mom guilt to light a fire under my ass. 

Alright, buckle up! Here we go:

Here, we have a very handsome & robust Dan, modeling his camping backpack from the days of his camping bachelorhood (he's a man of SO many talents, that husband of mine). He was very excited to show me how much crap this thing could actually contain. If you look below his elbow closely, you can see that there's even a compartment for toilet paper. Such a smart backpack! Camping learned lesson #1: it's really helpful when you go camping with a husband who is so giddy to be reunited with nature, he'll even pose for backpack pictures.

I realize my awesome photography skills didn't capture much else but glare in this photo, but if you strain to look through that, you will see our very jam-packed car. Camping learned lesson #2: Camping with children requires a whole lot of stuff. What you see in this car is basically everything we own. I was nervous I'd forget SOMEthing and then be miserable for 48 hours, but in reality, I don't think we utilized half of what we brought. Rookies!

Here the kids are strapped in & ready to roll, but not unlike dogs, could probably sense Mama's tense nerves and were probably experiencing a tummy butterfly or two themselves. On second thought, maybe they were just scared things were going to crush them, because please notice the mountain of cargo behind them.

Here, Ella is like, "You guys are crazy and make me want to jump out of this dang car seat, but you do always feed me, so therefore I'll stick around and surrender to this chaos." For a baby under 2, she really is wise beyond her years. Also, aren't her rag-a-muffin pigtails the cutest you've ever seen?

Here, Ben is like, "Doesn't this blue shirt bring out my gorgeous blue eyes? Also, are we there yet? WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE WE'RE STILL PARKED IN THE GARAGE?"

So fast forward the fairly uneventful 60+ minute car ride up to Big Basin, and now we've arrived. Except timing wasn't our greatest strength that day because we didn't have much daylight left, and I won't lie; there was some panic as the fellas set up camp. The realization of- wait, there are zero light switches we get to flip when it gets dark- slowly set in. Nobody wants to set up a (ginormous) tent in the darkness. So the boys huddled up, devised a plan, and got to work. My Dan is on the left, our dear friend (the "other" Dan) is on the right. Please notice his kneepads- this is serious camping business. 

They saved the day! Tent assembled! Number of injuries: 0. Sounds like the perfect time to open a bottle of wine! 

Isn't it breathtakingly gorgeous? Those giant wonderful trees! The delicious fresh air! Even the dirt was sort of pretty. Side note: our Mercedes-of-a-tent came fully loaded with a "front porch" area. I was sort of hoping it would be equipped with electricity as well, but I guess we had an older model.

This is Ben's semi-new favorite person in his world, and his name is Gavin. If you met him, you would want to hug him and squeeze his cheeks because he is hands-down one of the sweetest little boys on earth and has the voice of an angel. He's one of those kids who I'm hoping will forever infect Ben with his sweet, innocent boyishness. I love when they spend time together, and basically, camping was one big Ben & Gavin fest. I've never seen two boys so happy to be together, and so happy to be downright dirty.

Ben, being a scary jungle animal of sorts. And sweet Gavin- even when he's trying to be scary he's just exudes cuteness.

So remember how one of my big camping concerns was what the heck to do all day long (specifically, #6 on my top 10 list)? This was it! We sat and  learned to play a new favorite game, Mexican Train. I don't even play dominoes in any form, but this was great. Then of course, there was some beer drinking.

Then we went on a big group hike, which was lovely....until Ben's legs got too tired to keep moving. Then it got tricky. Learned camping lesson #3 : 4 miles is about 2 miles too many for a 4 year old hiker who hasn't napped. But it was gorgeous, and I got in touch with my inner hiker. She's a tigress!

Ben was thrilled to find a real-life fuzzy caterpillar:

Ella was thrilled to learn that Auntie Liz was willing to carry her a heck of a lot more than Mommy was willing. So they had some quality girl time so that Mommy could continue in Operation Laziness, and drink her beer in peace.

More friendly camping nothingness. Camping learned lesson #4: doing nothing and sitting outside is wonderful.

Here we are on our 2nd (and final) night, preparing a feast fit for a king. You might think I'm joking, but just wait for it...

Well hello perfectly marbled, gorgeous salmon! You're so cute with your pretty lemon slices-- but wait! What's this I see? Are you stuffed on the inside?!

Why yes, you are! What on earth did I do to deserve this royal treatment???? Guys, it was like manna pouring down from the heavens. Being the sushi junkie that I am, I had to stop my hand from picking it up and just eating it raw. Can you blame me?

And all I had to do was provide a black bean salad! (Don't get me wrong- the black bean salad was rad....anytime a recipe includes onion, mango & cilantro on the ingredient list, you KNOW it's going to be scrumptious. I don't even think this is a matter of opinion- it just is). The salmon (a.k.a. manna) was provided and prepared courtesy of our new friends, Rikki & Jack. (Hi Rikki & Jack! Want to go camping again?) Here is where I will mention that Jack is a real life chef...how could I NOT fall in love with camping??? Camping learned lesson #5 : Always go camping with a chef. Here they are, our Salmon Sugar-Parents:

Here's the full spread. Not too shabby for a camping trip, eh? If I was to caption this picture, it would say: Melon salad, veggies and bread, beautiful manna-salmon, three bean salad. AND WINE. Yes, as I recall, the wine was deeeeelightful. We even set up a separate table designated as "The Bar". 

This is the part of the evening when our bellies were full of salmon and wine, so we just smiled and took a bunch of photos. Here: the Findricks & Stublers

Me, Christina & Rikki. Don't you dare look at my camping greasiness!

Dewigs (minus Ben- where did Ben go? Oh right- to Gavin-land) + Findricks:

The night ended as any quintessential camping trip night should: with s'mores (Ben's 1st, my 1,001st)).... 

...And with glow stick swords! (Thanks for this picture, Kasia!)

Overall, what do I think about camping? Let me put it this way: my birthday is coming up in a month, and I'm thinking a camping trip might be in order.I think this could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship...