An Honorable Defense (almost)

Have I mentioned before that Ben isn't a huge fan of change? And by change, I mean Dan returning to work after having been home for a week on Spring Break. I learned this is enough change to tip his scales and send him into an unfortunate phase that is pure defiance mixed in with a healthy dose of destruction (namely breaking a pencil into 1,000 pieces, and then putting those pieces down the heater vent in Ella's room....)

And I am oh so done with it. My patience went extinct days ago. In fact, I must have said under my breath half a dozen times, "when did my sweet baby boy turn into an almost 4 year old little punk?"

Of course Mommy still loves you, Little Bug.
And you're not really a punk you're just behaving like one. They're completely different, I promise.

But. Since we've already broached the subject, Benjamin Daniel....

I've got some questions. Must you really destroy everything you get your hands on? Must you take that evil tone with me EVERY time you address me? Must you cause such rascality in the morning hours that I'm already frazzled before showering? On those particular mornings, I'm riddled with apprehension, just anticipating the unfolding of The Drama you've gotten so good at creating. Because at least when we're at home, we can have our World War III battles in private, but when we're in public, I feel like I have to censor every word that comes out of my mouth for fear of suspicious nearby eavesdroppers who might take my words grossly out of context. And then when all else fails, I try to scoop you up in my arms and ever so gently secure you in your car seat, turn on some happy tunes (ABBA usually does the trick), and wait for the grumpy storm to pass. Sometimes this means listening to ABBA far longer than any person should in one day.

So I suppose it's safe to say we've hit a bit of a rough patch, Ben & I. And while 99% of it is difficult and exhausting there is that one tee tiny 1% that keeps me from having a complete mental breakdown: his 1-2 line rebuttals. They are borderline genius and totally random so I thought I'd highlight some of my favorites that were thrown at me this week (and no, I don't make this stuff up):

Me: Ben, why are you behaving this way?
Ben: Mama, little boys just don't know what they're doing. We don't know, Mama. So, you can't get mad at little boys, okay?
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Me: Ben, we're not watching any TV right now. Please stop asking me.
Ben: But Mama, I'm just feeling a little bit SHOWY. Do you know what that means? Showy just means that I need to watch a show. So, let's just put on a show, and then I won't feel showy, okay Mama?
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Me: You need to stay right here next to me when we're in the parking lot.
Ben: But I need to watch those girls!
Me: Why?
Ben: Because they're so pretty!
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Ben: Mom, did you know that I'm the Director of this house?

*******************

Sweet child of mine, you need to hurry up and end this little phase. It's unbecoming. Furthermore, it's almost your 4th birthday, and I really want to have wonderful, heart-warming things to say when that day draws near. But right now, if nothing else, I guess I can commend you for sprinkling your tantrums with a dash of slick wit. Clearly, you are the fruit of my loins.

Golden Gate Park

This last week we've relished in every second of Dan's Spring Break. Downside to being a teacher: who can possibly survive on that income? I mean, really! Upside to being a teacher: having a Spring Break in which we essentially got paid to have family playtime in SF! On Wednesday we made the long trip (and by long, I mean just shy of 90 minutes, but with two kids who are never in the car for more than 20 minutes at a time, it felt like an eternity) up to San Francisco's Golden Gate Park. All I can say is, why have we never visited before? And when can we move there? It was breathtaking and lush and colorful and full of culture and flowers and wide open space. We couldn't have asked for more perfect weather- deep blue skies, not a cloud to be seen, lots of sunshine with a slight cool breeze. It was postcard perfect. I felt so happy to share the experience with our kidlets, and someday I expect them to reflect back and thank us for the experience. Because here is the photo documentation to prove we tried to make it as memorable as possible:

A few minutes into road trip, singing along to a little Raffi:

Oh, look! ME! Since I am the chief photographer in our home, sometimes I have to take my own picture just to later prove to my children that I really did exist, and that I really was present for these big family events:

This awesomely tangled tree that we found within seconds of arriving at the park:

Per recommendation, we hit up one of the FOUR children's playgrounds first and let them get their wiggles out. It was a pretty big playground for us country mice, but apparently it's one of the smaller ones the park has to offer!

The Music Concourse, a gorgeous outdoor music amphitheater (I even let out a few la la la's):

Somewhere near the Japanese Tea Garden:

Entering the Botanical Garden (practically the Garden of Eden):

Duck pond with some sort of large bird:

I packed a big picnic, with enough food for a small army, and we pitched camp on the other side of this sweet  duck pond. It was my favorite part of the entire day. We took our shoes off, the kids ran around the damp grass with their bare toes, and I soaked in a little sun. It was all perfect...until Ben slipped and fell in.

This is the marshy slippery mush that was responsible for......

this:

Life is good when you're the baby.

Stroll around the lake led us to this AMAZING poor man's view of beautiful Japanese Tea House gazebo. Someday I'm going to throw myself a tea party there.

This picture is classic because I thought I was just taking a candid photo of my son standing by the lake. But after I took the shot, I walked over only to discover his pants around his ankles, peeing in the tree. In public. In front of many strangers. Apparently, this is how we country mice roll.

The windmill and tulip garden!

The one & only Family shot we could get that day. It just wouldn't feel like a family photo without Ella staring off someplace else, and Ben in mid-revolt, giving his best semi-possessed scowl. Good times.

We heart you, San Francisco! We'll be back- you haven't seen the last of these country mice!

p.s. After that trip, I sort of found a tick in Ella's ear. It was awful and creepy, and Dan totally saved the day.

What is this "Alone Time" you speak of?

Dan: Babe, do you ever just go into another room, sit down and do absolutely NOTHING else except listen to music? Like, really listen, away from everything?

Me: Um. Well. I'm a mom. So....NO.

Larabar-tastic!

So, my new best friend "Lewis" from Larabar notified me that this blog post of mine somehow reached him in Larabar Land and he rewarded me by making me their "Fan of the Day"! THANKS, LEWIS! You can find me here on their blog site! I'm not even sure what it means but of course I'm thrilled and will be expecting flowers on my birthday and a christmas card from them from now on. At the very least, we'll probably get B.F.F. necklaces (remember those?). But seriously, it was a fun little surprise for this stay-at-home-Mama, and I'll admit....so far the highlight of my week. If my dreams do come true and they do end up sending me some bars, I promise you will all be the first to know. (Lewis, a.k.a. new Best Friend Forever, if you are reading this, keep in mind my deep love for coconut. However, also keep in mind I've yet to try any of the Jocalat varieties. But I trust your judgement implicitly).

Isn't the internet a crazy-wonderful thing?!

Modern Family

As Dan & I were cuddled up on the couch this afternoon, unwinding and clinging to the last few minutes we had before the next wave of late afternoon commotion began, Ben declared:

"Okay, here's the game: Mama, you're the babysitter. And Daddy, you are her grandson. I will be the garbage man, and Ella is a hunter-girl. Okay? OKAY EVERYONE?"

Sometimes I can hardly wait to see what this kid is going to be when he grows up.  Or, even better, who he'll marry. His future wife better excel at 1) listening and 2) being bossed around.

I love you, little Bug.