Leading Me On

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Lately we've had a unique little situation unfold outside our house. Sometimes a UPS or Fed Ex truck will pull into our driveway, and without fail I sit there watching and waiting by the window, completely engrossed in finding out what unexpected delivery could possibly be arriving to our home. Because unfortunately, Lord knows it wasn't me that ordered something. And then, after a good 2 minutes of this thrilling little waiting period, they drive away and I am left in an anti-climactic emotional heap. 


Since this has happened more than a handful of times, it can really only mean one thing in my book: there must have been some sort of memo (unbeknown to us) distributed to courier companies near and far, alerting them that our driveway has been nominated for the perfect little pit-stop destination. Come one, come all! The Dewig Driveway is THE PLACE to sit around and twiddle your thumbs, Fellow Couriers! Sure, there's a creepy stay-at-home mom inside who is ALWAYS in her sweats and tries to unsuccessfully spy on us in secret, but it's a small price to pay for an opportunity to sleep/eat/waste time on the job! 



How did I not see this coming? 


So here's what I have to say to my local UPS & Fed Ex Drivers: You are all a big tease. AND, it is my strong opinion that if you are going to have the audacity to use my driveway for pit-stopping or making personal phone calls or just taking a brief nap, then the least you could do is give me some sort of signal indicating there is no intention of bringing a fun surprise to my doorstep. Perhaps you could put on your hazard lights. I'll get the message loud & clear, even yell a "ROGER THAT" out my door if you'd like. Or maybe just make a sign that reads, "Don't Get Your Hopes Up" and mount it to your dashboard. You do whatever way works for you, but please, implement some sort of system ASAP. Otherwise one of these days I'm going to be forced to greet you in my driveway with my overly-hyper dog that you all seem to be SO scared of, and demand that you give me one of your boxes. The prettiest or heaviest one. Don't say you were not warned. Deal?