Preschool

So I'm a bit behind in the blogging, and now stories and events in our lives have gotten majorly backlogged. I feel like we went from not a whole lot going on to everything is going on in the span of a couple weeks. I was overwhelmed with how many things I've been wanting to blog about, and didn't know where to begin. And then, the wise words of Fraulein Maria to the Von Trapp children entered my brain and I realized, Duh. Let's start at the very beginning. A very good place to start.

So we'll start with a whopping two weeks ago, a.k.a. Ben's first week of Preschool! This has been a landmark 4 years and 4 months in the making, and I cannot tell you the joy that the separation of 4 hours, twice a week has brought to my relationship with my boy. We actually have time now to miss each other, time to look forward to spending together. He wants to cuddle more than ever before, wants me to hold him on my lap after dinner and hug and kiss him. It's like he just realized that I'm not just the chef & housekeeper around here. I'm a mom with squishy parts that are probably really great to cuddle up to. Sometimes I wish I could cuddle up with me, too.

However, don't let all this cuddling fool you. This child did not show one second of sadness or separation anxiety when the big day arrived. Just because he's all lovey dovey on his days off does NOT mean he isn't enjoying preschool every second that he's there. The pictures from his first day of school depict this perfectly. Who IS this overly confident, Mr. Too Cool For School extrovert?

(Are you kidding me? The thumbs up and the squinted cool-boy eyes? Did I mention that he insisted on posing before I snapped any of these photos?)

Nope. No lack of confidence issues going on here.

Sissy never likes to miss a great photo op.

In front of the preschool, which just so happens to be the cutest little red chapel building you've ever seen. And yes, there's even a white picket fence around it.

In the classroom, ready to play with the tools. It's a shame he's so introverted and holding back his first day, don't you think?

And in closing, I leave you with the mother of all photos. There is so much to love about this picture, but let me point out my favorite's: 1) Ben. It's probably hard to recognize him, because clearly he's been transformed into a superhero with his new-found superhero cape, and his new best friend, Maizie. Maizie is awesome because she's always willing to play superhero games AND cars. This is obviously a match made in heaven. 2) Ella, my little mini-me multi-tasking wanna-be Mama. I love her. And at just under 2 years old, I am very impressed by her abilities to hold a conversation on the phone and keep her baby happy. She screams EVERY SINGLE TIME we have to leave preschool and doesn't get to stay. 3) Since it was his first day, Ben is wearing a name tag so his teachers could learn the new students names quickly. HE IS NOT THE ONLY BEN IN THE CLASS! I was shocked and slightly taken aback. We've never met another little boy named Ben! We've met grown-up Bens and have seen celebrity Bens on movies, but never another real life little boy Ben. According to his teachers, I needn't worry; he's already made quite a name for himself around there.

A Cliff's Notes Guide: Gender Roles

This (early) morning while I was having "cozy time" in bed with the kids, Ben, who must have had some serious ants in his pants, kept "accidentally" kicking or bonking me in the gut. Ella & I were perfectly still, lying cuddled up close, and this crazy person next to us was somewhat ruining the moment. I was doing my best to handle the situation with patience, but he should really know better then to mess with his mother before she's had her first cup of coffee. First, I thought I could simply scare him off with my less-than-fresh morning breath. After that failed, I asked him to please stop wiggling around so much or he'd have to leave the warm cocoon of my bed, and this is what went down:

Ben: Well, Mama, did you know that I can't really sit still right now because girls just really like to be loving. But boys really like to be brave. So you & Sissy have to be loving, but I'm being brave right now.

Me: Um, okay. But Ben, girls aren't the only ones who like to be loving. Boys like to be loving, too.

Ben: Well..... sometimes they like to be loving. But FIRST they like to be brave, and THEN they can be loving. Because that's the truth about boys.

If you've never read John Gray's best-seller Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, don't bother. Ben just did you a favor and summed it all up for you. And yes, for those interested, he'll be available to provide couples counseling for a nominal fee.

48 Months

Dear Ben,


Last week you turned a whopping four years old. This might not sound old to some people, but when you think of it in terms of months, 48 months seems like an eternity that we've somehow managed to keep you alive, safe, healthy, and mostly happy. That's also a lot of months that we've stumbled around, experimented with our rookie parenting skills (flashback age 14 months: "we should definitely be giving him whole milk for calcium," and then,  at 15 months: "whoopsies, whole milk makes him constipated. We should definitely NOT give him whole milk anymore", etc.), and because you don't know any different, you just go along with it. I'm sorry that in an effort to perfect our parenting, you've been subject to our methods of trial and error.


As I think over the last year that we've spent with you I'm forced to admit that it hasn't been the easiest year. Your third year on earth kicked our butts and was by far more difficult than two. Although in your defense, perhaps you think that me being 31 was far more difficult than 30. I think we both got smarter, and both seem to have a will of iron, and when we butt heads, things can get a little tense around here. Whoever coined the phrase, "terrible twos" obviously never met you, because being three meant you having so much more vocabulary and so many SPECIFIC IDEAS about the way things should be. I feel like I've just barely recovered from your birth, let alone the last 12 months of the three year old woes.


And yet, here we are. 48 months later.

Since I've always been terrible at the whole baby book entry thing, and since my memory consistently fails me, initially I wanted this blog to keep record of your hilarious everyday-isms. I wanted a place I could record & preserve memories and have something to look back on that would always simultaneously make me smile and cry. Because you do that to me, did you know? I can be so fed up and angry with you one minute, and then the next I'm practically in tears when you surprise me by cleaning your room or picking me flowers from the yard. There's so much to say about this last year, all the ways you've changed, so I thought I'd highlight some of my thoughts about YOU:

• You are incredibly passionate about...well, everything. I'm serious. Sometimes you are pretty much ruled by "the passions" (as I affectionately refer to them). I've honestly never seen a young child love so deeply, hurt so deeply, fear so deeply, rejoice so deeply. This makes for one intense little person, and though it comes with its TREMENDOUS challenges, I can honestly say that I cannot wait to see what you are going to do with your life, what you will choose to be when you grow up. You are going to be amazing, my little man. You are literally capable of anything.

• You love girls, especially brunettes. I thought this was something I didn't have to worry about for another 10 years or so, but there you go! Keeping me on my toes again! The object of your affection changes on a daily basis, but you do have a few favorites. I'm not really prepared to handle this yet, so usually I just downplay it an say things like, "Yes, Ben. She seems like she's a really special person who has a really kind heart." You adore your babysitter and since she's a student at the highschool where Daddy teaches, sometimes you just pull out the yearbook and find pictures of her and stare....for a long time. When you see a pretty girl, you will do anything within your power to get her attention. You already ignore me calling your name if there's a pretty girl in the room. I have a feeling this is not going away anytime soon, so I realize your dad & I should probably come up with a better strategy. But for now, I'm encouraging you to get some more guy friends. Trust me, girls are nothing but trouble.
• You absolutely love music of all kinds. From sitting for hours at the piano playing and singing your little heart out to rocking out in the living room mimicking John Mayer to impersonating your daddy conducting a choir, a good chunk of your day is devoted to music. This makes us giddy with delight.
• You recently fell in love with Star Wars. I'm sure this was inevitable, and although you've actually never SEEN one of the movies, you are a pro with the Light Saber. Your moves are quite impressive, really.

• You sort of stole one of Ella's baby dolls that she received after she was born and we haven't really had the heart to tell you who the rightful owner is. I don't know what it is about this little cloth squishy doll, but you love her and take care of her on a daily basis and sleep with her every night and feed her and put her down for naps and shush me when I'm being too loud for fear of waking the baby. Also, it should be noted that you named this baby girl all by yourself: Harry.
• You suffer terribly from eczema (that would be my genes, sorry about that). I'm so sorry, buddy. We're trying to do everything we can do make it more manageable, but your skin is splotched with itchy red patches and it just tears me up seeing you scratching or seeing the aftermath of blood on your sheets from you scratching in your sleep. It also breaks my heart when I hear you tell your peers things like, "That? Oh that's just my eczema. It's just dry skin. Mommy has to put hydro-cortisone ointment on it to make it better." 
• Christmas this last year was incredible. You really got it this year, and it made the holiday 1,000 times more exciting for Daddy & I. The magic of the season had you completely mystified and seeing the wonder in your eyes is something I'll never forget. For the first time, you actually willingly sat on Santa's lap AND held sissy's hand when she panicked. Seeing that big brother gesture of comforting Ella melted our hearts and made me realize that was probably one of many more instances to come where you would be there for your baby sister when she needed you. 

• In the fall, you'll be going to preschool two mornings a week for the very first time! If there's one thing I learned about your year as a three year old, it was KEEP THAT BOY BUSY! I'm hoping this is a wonderful change for both of us. I can't wait to see you thrive in that environment- you've practically begged for it, my little socialite. Once again, stay away from those girls. I mean it.
• Every now and then when I walk out of my room your big blue eyes light up and you say something like, "OH MOMMY! You look SO FANCY! You're pretty, Mommy!" I never know exactly what prompts that statement, but you have no idea how much it means to me. A compliment is a compliment, even from a three year old. Keep it up.

Mama loves you, and I am praying this year is full of tremendous growth, learning, curiosity, empowerment, laughter, and a whole heck of a lot of love. You will always be extra special to me because you are my first born; you made me a mommy! Let's make four really great okay? And be patient with mommy, it's really hard to be a parent.

We are trying so hard to do our best, but as I've said a million times: Parenting: it's the best thing I've ever done. But it's the hardest. 

My sweet boy, as hard as its been, you are the best thing I've ever done.


xoxoxo

An Honorable Defense (almost)

Have I mentioned before that Ben isn't a huge fan of change? And by change, I mean Dan returning to work after having been home for a week on Spring Break. I learned this is enough change to tip his scales and send him into an unfortunate phase that is pure defiance mixed in with a healthy dose of destruction (namely breaking a pencil into 1,000 pieces, and then putting those pieces down the heater vent in Ella's room....)

And I am oh so done with it. My patience went extinct days ago. In fact, I must have said under my breath half a dozen times, "when did my sweet baby boy turn into an almost 4 year old little punk?"

Of course Mommy still loves you, Little Bug.
And you're not really a punk you're just behaving like one. They're completely different, I promise.

But. Since we've already broached the subject, Benjamin Daniel....

I've got some questions. Must you really destroy everything you get your hands on? Must you take that evil tone with me EVERY time you address me? Must you cause such rascality in the morning hours that I'm already frazzled before showering? On those particular mornings, I'm riddled with apprehension, just anticipating the unfolding of The Drama you've gotten so good at creating. Because at least when we're at home, we can have our World War III battles in private, but when we're in public, I feel like I have to censor every word that comes out of my mouth for fear of suspicious nearby eavesdroppers who might take my words grossly out of context. And then when all else fails, I try to scoop you up in my arms and ever so gently secure you in your car seat, turn on some happy tunes (ABBA usually does the trick), and wait for the grumpy storm to pass. Sometimes this means listening to ABBA far longer than any person should in one day.

So I suppose it's safe to say we've hit a bit of a rough patch, Ben & I. And while 99% of it is difficult and exhausting there is that one tee tiny 1% that keeps me from having a complete mental breakdown: his 1-2 line rebuttals. They are borderline genius and totally random so I thought I'd highlight some of my favorites that were thrown at me this week (and no, I don't make this stuff up):

Me: Ben, why are you behaving this way?
Ben: Mama, little boys just don't know what they're doing. We don't know, Mama. So, you can't get mad at little boys, okay?
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Me: Ben, we're not watching any TV right now. Please stop asking me.
Ben: But Mama, I'm just feeling a little bit SHOWY. Do you know what that means? Showy just means that I need to watch a show. So, let's just put on a show, and then I won't feel showy, okay Mama?
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Me: You need to stay right here next to me when we're in the parking lot.
Ben: But I need to watch those girls!
Me: Why?
Ben: Because they're so pretty!
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Ben: Mom, did you know that I'm the Director of this house?

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Sweet child of mine, you need to hurry up and end this little phase. It's unbecoming. Furthermore, it's almost your 4th birthday, and I really want to have wonderful, heart-warming things to say when that day draws near. But right now, if nothing else, I guess I can commend you for sprinkling your tantrums with a dash of slick wit. Clearly, you are the fruit of my loins.