The Facts of Life

A couple of months ago, Dan was driving around with the kids in the car doing errands, while I was at home eating bon-bons and working on my tan. Naturally.

When they got home, Dan nonchalantly mentioned that essentially Ben asked where babies come from, but not to worry because he "totally handled it". Immediately I panicked, for two reasons.

1) Ben is not yet even 5 years old. I was fairly convinced that this subject wouldn't even cross his mind for like 10 more years. This means that we've greatly underestimated his curious little brain by not planning any age-appropriate responses as of yet. How could we let this happen! People, may I remind you that this is what I went to school for? I mean, not specifically to explain sex to children, but I went to school to understand their little brains. My  Early Childhood Education courses really could be renamed, "how to explain things to kids in an age-appropriate manner". It should be noted that I got A's in all of these courses.
2) Dan & I handle things quite differently when it comes to this stuff. I tend to use my E.C.E. voodoo magic and redirect the conversation (some might label this "avoidance"), and Dan tends to tackle things head on, even if he doesn't have a plan.

So here's how his impromptu sex-ed conversation unfolded.

(Um, and for the record- NO, I AM NOT PREGNANT)


Ben: Daddy, I think that Mommy is going to have another baby sometime.
Dan: You do? Why do you think that?
B: I just do. I think that she is gonna get a baby in her tummy soon.
D: Well, it doesn't really work that way, buddy. Mommies & Daddies have to want a baby- they don't just magically appear in Mommy's tummy.
B: Does God put the baby in Mommy's tummy?
D: Well, yes. Sort of. But Mommy & Daddy have a big role in it as well.
B: Like what? What do you do?
D: Well, Bud. There's a special hug that Mommy & Daddy do to make a baby.
B: Oh.
D: Yup. It's called the "marital embrace".
B: Ohhhhhhhh. I see. Do you like, put one arm around her neck, and Mommy puts her arm around your back?
D: Uh, sure Buddy. There's lots of ways to do it, but that's certainly one way to do it.

You see? THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I'M NOT THERE TO CONTROL THE SITUATION!

When I gave Dan a hard time about this interaction (and by "hard time", I mean that I shrieked a lot and used his full birth name), he wanted to know what I would have done differently.

Aside from EVERYTHING, I said, "Dan, if Ben wanted to know about where babies come from, I probably would have told him they are a miracle, and therefore an inexplicable mystery. And then I would have changed the subject to Star Wars and trucks."

So, um.....who's got a good book on explaining where babies come from for me us to borrow?

Persistance

It may have taken close to three-and-a-half years to manifest itself, but it appears that my son has been (more or less) listening to me all along! It's astounding how full our days are, aside from the daily routine and schedule of eating, napping and playing. Most moms would probably agree that a large majority of the days are full of reminders and instructions and corrections and encouragement and positive reinforcements with our kids. Basically, we moms are glorified broken records. Advocates for manners, kindness, social skills, and overall tact. For example:

"How do you ask?" or, "what do you say?" or, "what's the magic word?" or, "why don't you try that again and ask me the correct way?", or "how can you say that in a kinder way?".

You get the idea.

Anyway, it first caught my attention today when we were in line to order a pretzel at Target. Ben sweetly conveyed to me that he was practically dying of hunger, and since I had packed very light snacks that were already consumed on the car ride over in a matter of 5 seconds, I found my Mama guilt caving to his request. Plus, pretzels are the second cheapest item on their menu, and I was even able to scrape up the grand total in loose change. Win-win.

So the food lady hands him his giant pretzel (just about the size of his head) and he ever so sweetly batted his gorgeous blue eyes, smiled and in his sing-song tone said, "thank you!"
Unprompted. By himself. This was huge, but I wasn't expecting this to repeat itself anytime soon.

And THEN! I prepare his lunch, and as he takes his plate and carries it from the kitchen to the dining table, he practically shrieks out, "Ohhhh, wow! Mom, this lunch is MY FAVORITE! Thanks so much!".
Again! Unprompted! But even still, I'm thinking....this is still a coincidence, and really he's just excited because we have KILLER leftover skirt steak and crispy garlic potatoes from dinner last night.

And then, as if to seal the deal, he blew my socks off one last time. Which, for more reasons than I care to even count, I desperately needed tonight. Maybe he sensed this and is beginning to catch on to the whole Take Care of Mommy concept. As I was tucking him in and saying goodnight, he suddently wrapped his little arms around my neck, let out a huge sigh and said, "Mommy? I love you. I love you so much." And then he adorned my face with kisses. It was like being attacked by a warm little puppy with love.

Gulp. Cue misty eyes.

And I started thinking...maybe all of this really is soaking in his little brain. Maybe I am actually getting through to him. Maybe I really am making a difference in my attempt to steer him the right way, and all of these constant reminders (or nagging....let's be honest...) have not been in vain. Tomorrow I'm sure he'll go back to bugging his sister to the point of tears and talking sassy to his mother and refusing to nap and tracking mud all over the recently vacuumed floors, but today felt like a mini success story. Our own little hurdle.

And honestly, even if I never have a moment like this again with him, today somehow made those 3.5 million daily reminders oh so very worth it.

Busy Bodies, Part 1

I know, I know. Where the heck have I been the past 6 days, right? Oh my, I had no idea August would be so full of social engagements! I was starting to feel very un-social, and then August completely restored my popularity self-esteem! Thanks, August! I think it's about that time for one of my very general meander-ish type of blog posting today. You know, some pictures, a few random updates, perhaps a recipe link or two.

Here goes.

First of all, it sure is convenient when your children begin taking baths together! Thank goodness for this handy dandy bath seat apparatus that Ella now relaxes in during her spa-treatment of a bath time (every mother should invest in this. EDITH, THIS MEANS YOU. Though I suppose you do have a little bit of time). Also, Ben & Ella have sort of learned the art form of playing together! It only took 9 months, but it seems they're getting the hang of it. This is an answer to every prayer and hope I've had the last 9 months. If Ben could only be a bit more gentle, and Ella a bit less sensitive, it would almost be a playmate match in heaven.

Secondly, isn't he just the cutest? Whenever I feel anything to the contrary and I'm frustrated with him and on the verge of listing him on Ebay, ready at the post office to ship him out to the highest bidder, I force myself to look at this picture and count to ten. He melts me every single time. HOWEVER, it should be noted that Ben has picked up a nasty new little habit called lying. It's awful, and it's driving me nuts (and I'm sure my parents would call this karma). At first it was a little bit funny because when you're 3 years old, you have no concept of how to lie well. I mean, I ask him a question that I already know the answer to, and he is so transparent in his response. For example, "Hey Ben, did you just open Ella's door while she's napping." To which he'll reply, "Ummmmmmm.......No? No, I didn't?"
Hm.
Interesting.
You'd think after all the many years of experience working with children and the background I have in Early Childhood Education, I'd have some really great method or solution for this sort of problem. And yet, the only thing that this Mother of the Year is coming up with these days is: "Well, just remember what happened to our little friend Pinocchio. Lying didn't seem to work too well for him, now did it?"

I know. Impressive disciplinarian skills, right? Which leads me to this little side note: if anyone has any good solutions for this lying thing, PLEASE please please throw them my way. We need help. It turns out he's way smarter than we gave him credit for. But, this is just a small little phase and it will all be over in a couple weeks, right guys? Right???? WHAT????? Hee hee.


Moving right along, last Wednesday was a major event in me & Dan's lives. We went to see a Phish show! This experience in and of itself could be its own blog posting. In fact, perhaps I'll do just that at another time. You deserve to hear some of the hilarious details of the events that occurred that evening. It's a whole other world at these live shows, but I will say that it was one of my top 10 favorite nights of all time. You read that right. TOP 10, baby! It was SO WONDERFUL to have a night out with my wonderful husband (plus one of my best friends plus my wonderful bro-in-law, plus one of Dan's colleagues) and dance for hours upon hours with every hippie that resides in the Bay area! I did a lot of dancing and laughing and sweating, and when water bottles are $5 A PIECE (do they KNOW what water costs everywhere else in the world???!), I experienced some major dehydration. But it was all worth it. One of the best shows of my life. Thanks for getting back together, Phish!


Next, I should forewarn you that although this pretty baby girl looks sweet and oh-so-innocent- it turns out she's a little bit nutty! Must be those Dewig genes. Anyway, she is crawling like a crazy lady, and pulling herself up on EVERYTHING, and standing and oh my goodness are we in for it! She is so much busier than Ben was at this age. I don't know if it's the second child syndrome or that she's a girl, or a combination of the two. But we laugh at her pretty much all day long. These days she reminds me of one of those overly-zealous and overly-energized aerobics instructors that smiles alot and keeps yelling at you to work harder! Sweat more! Feel the burn! Go for the gold! That's Ella.

Last Saturday, my sister, mom & I went to a bridal shower for a very dear, long-time friend of mine, and I left the shower on the most wonderful high. I was completely overwhelmed with joy and gratitude for her and her precious family (who, by the way, should absolutely look into going into the shower-throwing business. Everything was exquisite perfection.) This is a family that we have been close to since before I was born- over 30 years now, which officially makes her my oldest friend (to clarify- not oldest as in she's 90 or something. She's who I've been friends with the longest). She & I practically knew each other in utero, and it just warmed my heart to see her so happy and so in love with a man who is actually worthy of a girl of her caliber! She is a rock solid girl, completely self-less and has lived a life devoted to helping others, cracking people up with her hysterical personality, totally committed to her faith, her family and loved ones. It's my personal opinion that people like this deserve all the happiness and love in the world! CONGRATULATIONS, MISS JENNY! We all cannot wait to see what lies ahead for you and your hubby-to-be. You guys are going to make the most fantastic team!

I'm going to end this right about now, as my tummy is violently growling at me, and nothing gives me Blog Block like a deep hunger. For the record, I think I will whip up some tuna salad, my current favorite go-to lunch when I'm in a pinch. Part 2 of this blog will arrive hopefully in the next few days. But for now, it's time for some tuna, some dinner prep and maybe even some (*gasp*) "me" time. Happy Monday!

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