Dress Rehearsal

In preparation for the Halloween events that await us tomorrow, I thought it would be wise to have some sort of dress rehearsal for Ella. Seeing that this is her first Halloween experience and that she has never sported a costume in all of her almost 12 months on earth, I wanted to test the waters and see how she handled the whole experience from the safe confines of our home. See? Being an old seasoned mother of 2 now means I learned something the first time around.

At first, everything seemed to go quite well. There were smiles. Lots of curious exploration of the adorable chicken costume that's been loaned to us. Even a still moment and posing for the camera. And of course I went bananas, because come on- am I alone here, or how irresistible are those cheeks? They're edible, actually. Isn't she the most wonderfully precious chubby chicken you've ever seen?

And then without advance warning, things took a turn.

A very bad turn.

Until finally, she was practically screaming the words, "TAKE THIS AWFUL THING OFF ME THIS VERY INSTANT! I HATE HALLOWEEN!"

After giving it the old college try (i.e. redirection by way of dancing, singing, clapping and tickling her) her screaming volume and intensity only increased. Whoopsies. Apparently a baby her age can't be bribed with Butterfinger's or M&M's. Silly Ella! So, I gave up, but I got my 4 pictures and that's all I really needed!  Consequently, it appears that Ella will be dressing up as....Ella this year.

In other news, we received a very sweet invitation from my wonderful sister today to go trick-or-treating at her office. As I was getting Ben ready to make his Spiderman debut (for approximately the 45th time this year), I realized there were several holes in his paper-thin Made in China costume that needed my immediate mending attention. Thankfully, my magnificent sewing machine was ready and waiting (THANK YOU, MARGE!). As I sat there in a heap of threads and needles (yes, plural needles. I have this unfortunate knack for breaking needles) I couldn't help but think of my childhood and my own mother and the way in which she made the entire Halloween costume/dress up ordeal a happy and creative one for me. We never had much money to spend, so creativity was indeed the catalyst for invention when it came to costumes. Usually I took the easy road and resorted to applying layers upon layers of eye makeup and bright lipstick to my face because it was the one day of the year I was allowed to do so. It was my job to take full advantage of this. It didn't really matter what my character was, there would always be the thick makeup. Baseball player? Makeup. Karate girl? Makeup. Old woman? Makeup. Cheerleader? Makeup, double time. And believe me, I thought I looked fantastic every time..Good thing I have an older brother who- still to this day- delights in informing me it was quite the contrary. Whatever.

Anyway, despite the copious amount of tears shed today, I hope Ella will look back one day and think that I approached this bizarre holiday with creativity and happiness, too. As for Ben, I'm just praying that the seam work I did today bought us another 2 years on that hilarious Spiderman costume of his.

Finally, in the spirit of Halloween, if you've never had the pleasure of seeing this (or even if you have), may I be the first to introduce you to a portion of Jerry Seinfeld's stand up performance? In this bit, he touches on candy/costumes/Halloween from the days of his youth. Very apropos and hands-down hilarious. I just love that guy. Enjoy!

For The Children

Image by Cayusa via Flickr

Well, I broke down. I bought a colossal bag of Halloween candy. And with 5 whole days still left until Halloween actually arrives, surely this is a recipe for disaster. A wonderfully delicious chocolaty recipe.

The last 12 times I've been to Target, I've seen the forbidden Halloween section with its seasonal orange and black packaged candy, practically waving at me and begging me to take it home. But being a woman of tremendous self-control, I resisted those bags of artery clogging, thigh enlarging, tummy jiggling Halloween treats. Plus, all of the good candy was still being sold at full-price, and who can justify that ridiculous expense? $8 for a bag of- let's face it- sugar? I might as well dispense tablespoons full of brown sugar to the trick-or-treaters instead. Or its healthier alternative, honey. Or pennies. In this economy, I am not afraid to be the creepy lady on the block that gives out pennies to the children. Anyway, I did this whole temptation/resisting game for 3 whole weeks. I was like Jesus being tempted in the desert except my "desert" was the Halloween section in Target, and I'm not exactly... Jesus. But you get the idea.

Then...I noticed it was all on sale yesterday, including the good stuff (read: Resse's & Snickers). It's painful for me to pass up a good deal, be it toilet paper or clothing or...Halloween candy. So what's a girl to do? I gave in, all the while reminding myself that the greatest gift is truly to give and ohhhh, the smiles these treats would bring to the faces of the trick-or-treaters (that we may or may not have this year). So really, I was doing it all for the children.

And then yesterday, as Dan was reaching his hand into the mysterious already-opened bag of treats, he looked at me with a smile and asked,
"Um, is this supposed to be for Halloween?"
Me, somewhat defensive & irritated: "Yes, babe. It's for the children."

Nevermind the fact that the bag is already 1/3 empty. Don't these children deserve candy that has been pre-tested for safety & freshness? With all of the concerns parents have these days, wouldn't they be happy to know that their child's candy had been thoroughly tested? It just so happens that I took it upon myself to implement my very own system of quality control. It's just the kind of girl I am....willingly taking a hit for the team. For the children. (Incidentally, everything tested out with flying colors in the safety & freshness department. And I'm sorry, but HOW CUTE are those little Snickers bars? Who can possibly eat just one?)

Pumpkin Update

I realize you all must be having many sleepless nights, anxiously anticipating an update on our cute little surprise pumpkins we have wildly growing. Silly me for waiting so long to give you the update you've been waiting for! I had no idea I could become so attached to a pumpkin patch because as excited as I am to harvest these cuties and proudly display them by our front door, there's a small part of me that doesn't want it to end. I think I just took a silent vow to always plant a pumpkin patch no matter where we live. From this Fall forward.

Anyway, I can't believe how orange and bumpy and imperfectly fantastic they are. Isn't orange the most cheerful color? I can't be depressed when I look at them. That magnificent orange sucks every ounce of bad mood out of my system. There are less now then when they first started growing (gophers, maybe?), and some are still relatively small (but who doesn't love the runt of the litter?), but they've got oodles of character. They aren't the perfectly round, blemish-free pumpkins you find at the store, or even from an actual pumpkin patch farm, but there's something about them that make me want to stop and stare and smile with pride (not that I've had ANYthing to do with their growth and ability to flourish). And even though entering the pumpkin patch and checking on them means inviting hundreds of goat-head thorns to attack my shoes, they leave me no choice but to shower them with love and gratitude for being so gosh-darn adorable. Can you blame me?