There Is Hope

Since the number one objective of this blog is to relay the everyday happenings of our little family, I can't not write about what we've indirectly been through and witnessed this past week. To write about anything else right now feels completely impertinent.

My sister-in-law's sister & her husband lost their beautiful 5 year old daughter, completely unexpectedly, a week ago Sunday. Most of you are quite familiar with the story by now, but for those of you who aren't, I believe this has been the most tragic loss our little community of friends & loved ones has ever experienced. It has literally rocked me to my core, made me slow down, hug my children more often, and rethink the things I've labeled as "hardships" in my life. How silly I can be, allowing something like a messy house to bring stress and discord to my home. How shallow I feel for occasionally allowing traffic to bring out the worst in me. It's beyond powerful when the life & death of a precious child can literally make you rethink your priorities in this world. Sweet Stella, if you only knew how much you've already impacted so many people!

Every day this week, I've woken up with a renewed state of mind: it is an honor that I get to spend today loving my children, my husband, and those I come in contact with. How blessed are those of us who have health, family, and love today....

My sister-in-law shared her own thoughts on this tremendous loss. I found it to be consoling and hope-giving, in a virtually devastating situation. In the midst of all of this, the power of love is truly irrefutable. You can read her beautiful tribute here.

Grief

I've been laying low the past few days, sorting out some events that have recently taken place in our lives. One of Dan's colleagues- a wonderful, loving, and sweet man who has done nothing greater in his role as vice-principal than support Dan beautifully- just lost his 21 year old son in a small private plane crash last Friday. When a tragedy of such magnitude hits this close to home, it's difficult to get through the day without feeling incredibly selfish. So, I got stuck in traffic for 20 minutes. So what? I have a 4 year old who is driving me nuts. So what? It's the reason I haven't even dared blog in a week, because suddenly I've gained a whole new level of perspective. When someone you know and love is enduring the most painful moment in their life, somehow it just feels wrong that our lives get to continue, and that such trivial everyday events continue to unfold.

Right now I'm just completely overwhelmed at the juxtaposition of life and death; this family, mourning the loss of their precious son, a fact I am reminded of 1,000 times a day with every moment I get to spend with my children, and with every new memory we are lucky enough to create. Now that I'm a parent, the thought of losing a child takes my breath away. The possibility alone stings my heart. I cannot fathom anything more painful, and I'm left feeling helpless and unsure of how we can support their family in this time of tremendous grief. I find that I'm putting myself in their position multiple times throughout the day, asking, "What would I want from friends & family? How would I want to be comforted?" And so, I've made them a loaf of homemade bread, which will be hand delivered by Dan this afternoon. He'll go to their house to sit with them, to perhaps cry with them, to just be with them. That's the thing about grief- it strips us down to the fragile, vulnerable core, and bonds humans together in a way unlike any other. All we can do now is pray, and let our flood gates of love open wide. I know they'll be taking baby steps towards finding peace. As for today, I just pray for an ample dose of hope.

"Earth hath no sorrow that heaven cannot heal."

-Thomas Moore