Mother of the Year

Image via WikipediaAs a matter of fact, YES.
I am breaking into my son's Valentine's Day candy generously gifted to him weeks ago by his tiny preschool friends, all while he sleeps peacefully (and without clue) just down the hall. It's all in an effort to keep my resolution this year of eating 1) more kale (speaking of, try these and season it like crazy and have a party in your mouth) and 2) more chocolate. Because who wants to be on their death bed one day, regretting their under-consumption of chocolate? There are dozens of other things I'll be too busy regretting, so I refuse to let a lack of chocolate be one of them. So obviously in this instance, the ends totally justify the means. My son needs a strong, determined Mama who sticks to her resolutions, right?

Anyway, as I was picking through the precious heap of Valentine's, I noticed that his friends gifted mostly name-brand chocolate this year. Nice touch, kids. This has not gone unnoticed in this house. Buddy, you are such a great judge of character. Clearly, friends like yours who gift name-brand chocolate are friends you should hang on to forever. Because when it comes to chocolate, one should really go big or go home. Who has time to mess around with Hershey's when there are dozens of Dove chocolate hearts screaming your name?

And this has been another motherly pearl of wisdom I pass down to you, my darling son.

True Confessions

Image by Back to the Cutting Board via Flickr

So, I just ate a slice of cheesecake.

Triple chocolate. You know, THE most sinful kind of cheesecake that can possibly be in existence. So not only did I break the no sugar cleanse, I broke it and kicked it and slapped it and spanked it and punched it and then killed it. And then just for fun, I rolled around in it.

I have but one defense. I'm a weakling, and when Chocolate speaks to me, I listen. I will do WHATEVER chocolate tells me to do. Tonight, it told me to eat him. And I'm not one to disobey.

Also, Ben really wanted some cheesecake, and what kind of mother would allow her 3 year old his OWN slice of cheesecake just moments before bedtime? Not me. So really, I shared a slice of cheesecake, out of sugar-overload protection for my son. I'm telling you, parenting is unyielding.

I'd like to say that I feel riddled with guilt, but my body is in complete sugar-buzz mode and loving every second. There's a small party going on in my belly right now. My bloodstream's like, "HELLOOOOO SUGAR! How's it going old friend? It's so great to see you! Where have you been? Can you stay awhile?" and I can hardly sit still while I type and I'm fairly certain I could endure a Lord of the Rings marathon if I had to. That is, until I sugar-crash and burn.

And because I'm having a moment of complete honesty here, I feel it necessary  to report that triple chocolate = triple fun. It probably also = a triple roll on my thighs. TOTALLY WORTH IT!

Anyway, I'm pretty sure Lent will understand.